You Too Can Be Jesse Jackson: Still Not Rhyming

Say the following and fight the urge to rhyme:

South Korea experienced violence from the North.
That left their president pacing back and …ah…holding his head.
Trying to decide
how to respond to the 46…killed.
The South Korean people aren’t too thr…happy.
What the North did was really crrrr….
Bring these countries to the brink of  war.
We have no idea what’s in st…ahead
but I know South Korea’s defenses are at code rrr…high alert.
They’re about to get busy and go to wo…. Oh you’ll find out.
They aren’t going to be walking softly and carrying a big stick.
 They’re going to show you what happens when you act like a big di…doofus.
With buck toofus.

See, Piece of cake   

Louisiana’s wetlands have begun to spoil
as a direct result of BP’s…crude.
Well that’s just plain…. mean.
They’ve banned the press from letting the damage be…reported.
This Mexican Gulf’s brown tide can’t be depor…sent back.
That’s just wiggity wiggity wh…wrong.
BP turned the Gulf in to the La Brea tar pit.
What was beautiful now looks like sh….poop.

Jesse James
should feel asham….disgraced
for sleeping with the skank with the tattooed…mug.
Crying on TV?
You’re supposed to be some biker...tough.
Your interview acting was as bad as Shia Leb…Keanu Reeves.
Thank god Saundra had the good sense to…split.
Your father isn’t the only one that wants to see you get...beat.  

Jesse I am
I do not like green eggs and…bacon
I used to rhyme now I’m only...pretending.
It was easy before to know where it was...going.
 Now the trick is not kno…Now it’s hard to tell.
You know what Imus? You can go to…Hades.
In a brand new S-Class Merc…. Ford truck
You evil…guy