Inside Imus Control Center

Rob & Tony's

Behind the Scenes Blog

-Wednesday, April 23-0 Comments
-Wednesday, April 23-0 Comments
6:05:10 a.m. – The I-Man happily reports that this past Monday’s ‘Might Be Elvis’ was the highest rated hour of THE ENTIRE BROADCAST DAY. Rob claims that he is responsibl ...
-Tuesday, April 22-0 Comments
-Tuesday, April 22-0 Comments
5:55:10 a.m. – My Pillow Michael Lindell is here, back in the Green Room with us, awaiting his appearance on the program this morning. He drove straight through from Philadelphia at 3 A.M. ...
-Monday, April 21-0 Comments
-Monday, April 21-0 Comments
6:05:10 a.m. – In honor of Queen Elizabeth’s 88 TH Birthday, the I-Man has decided to wear his hair like her. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN 6:07:24 a.m. – Warner reports that Masai ...

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    Tony Powell's Stuff

    Monday
    Mar072011

    Check back soon for updates from Tony!

    Tuesday
    Mar012011

    Charlie Sheen's Diary: March 1, 2011

    Dear Diary,

    Today I woke up in a pool of hookers. It used to be filled with water, but I find that hookers are much better to dive into. Then again, some of these broads had enough saline in their implants that, technically, the pool is still filled with salt water. I climbed out of the pool and made my way to the kitchen for a little breakfast. I had a box of Frosted Flakes and 7 grams of coke, snorted off a box of Corn Flakes. Breakfast of champions. They were Grrrrrrreat! Bring it! 

    Usually I don’t get up early enough to have breakfast, but some construction workers were making a racket outside of my house. At least, that’s what I thought it was, until I realized that it was my heartbeat.

    I’m glad I’m up early. I have a TV interview that I need to be fresh for. This chick is pretty hot, too. If I buy her a Porsche, maybe she’ll let me hit it. If not, well, I’ll just hit the Boxster. Who cares?

    I gotta hit the road. I just got wind of the fact that my old man is planning an intervention. So I’m going O.J., and climbing over the fence of my own property. The only way I’m leaving a bloody glove behind is if I blow my nose into one of my vintage baseball mitts. Catch you on the flip side Marty.

    I’m winning!
    

    Tuesday
    Feb222011

    Tony Powell Live!

    Tony Powell will appear at Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club on Friday, Feb. 25 & Saturday, Feb. 26! For tickets and more info, go to Uncle Vinnie's website, or call 877-862-5384.

    Wednesday
    Sep292010

    Jesse Jackson: Ryhmin' the Times

    Old Mother Hubbard lived in a shoe.
    She was watching Dancing with the stars; there was nothing else to do
    She sat there feeling
    this line-up was not appealing
    Putting on the ABC station
    she saw Mike The Situation
    ABC is ailing
    if they think I want to see Bristol Palin
    Flailing
    Oh no!
    Is that Margaret Cho??
    Hasselhoff, without the booze???
    Wasn’t there someone else they could choose??
    Why couldn’t they get Slim Shady,
    instead of Carol Brady?
    Oh this is just too revolting
    You think I’m gonna watch Michael Bolten?
    There’s no way to watch theses faces.
    I’m leaving this shoe, and tying up the laces
     
    Braylon Edwards was out driving drunk
    It goes without saying this guy is a punk
    This was damn near deranged
    having blood alcohol twice the legal range
    This exchange is more than strange
    Driving under the influence in your Range Rover
    like your boy Donte Stallworth, who ran somebody over
     Hard Knocks??
    You should be beaten With soap inside of a sock
    Drinking before you drive?
    You’re lucky, you dope, that you’re still alive.
     
    Eddie Long
    preached homosexuality was wrong
    He thought homosexuals were a plague on society
    Now he’s accused of sexual impropriety
    All this anti-gay noise
    now he’s accused of  using boys
    as sexual toys
    Using a paddle to spank them on their tushes
    I guess you want to stay out the bushes!
     
    Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
    Fuzzy couldn’t help but stare
    at Imus and what he chose to wear
    Where did he shop ?
    At a homeless clothing swap?
    Boy must’ve gotten dressed in the dark
    Looking like the illegitimate child of Diane Keaton and Harpo Marx..

     

    Thursday
    Sep092010

    You Too Can Be Jesse Jackson: Labor Day, Kanye, and Fuzzy

    On Labor Day, politicians had their say
    in a rhetorical ballet trying to defray
    concerns over our economic decay.
    All the jobless could do was pray
    while listening to some talking toupee
    trying to underplay
    the fact that high unemployment might be here to stay.
    We all know somebody desperate for labor.
    It could be you, maybe your neighbor.
    The government spends billions on banks
    who never say thanks.
    While millions have joined the unemployment ranks.
    This whole thing is stank.
    It’s like the economy has pooted
    and if these politicians don’t fix it,  they need to be booted.
     
    Kanye West said he was depressed
    and thought it would be best
     if he just took some time to digest
    why people have come to detest the mess
    he caused at the MTV Video Award fest.
    Poor little Taylor Swift
    instead of getting the lift
    that comes from winning that little statue gift
    she was given short shrift
    by obnoxious Kanye, causing a rift.
    Now West says he wrote Taylor a song
    to apologize for being wrong
    and for sneaking up on her like the Viet Cong.
    For Kanye, that night must be kind of hazy.
    He thinks he can be thought of as a Goodfella, like Martin Scorcese
    but to me that bitch is still crazy.
     
    Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear.
    Fuzzy was in his underwear
    surfing the web in his lounge chair.
    Fuzzy was on his favorite site
    hoping to invite
    someone whose price was right.
    Fuzzy was trying to enlist someone to assist,
    by tying him up his wrists and engaging in a little cave tryst.
    What’s this?
    No more adult section on Craig’s List?
    Fuzzy sat there with a clenched fist.
    He was really piss…mad.
    He was tense and wouldn’t be able to get loose.
    He lost the number of his favorite masseuse.
    The one that would paddle him on his furry little caboose.
    For the right amount of dollars
    she would make Fuzzy holla.