You Too Can Be Jesse Jackson: A News Update

Bp put on a containment cap
The plan is to stop the crap
that continues to lap
on the shores as a result of their oil rig mishap.
But if you look at a map
their failure to trap
the oil in a jiffy, in a snap,
has sapped the life of the coast.
Its way of life will soon be a ghost.
Truthfully, right now it’s toast.
Birds covered in oily turds
is just absurd.
This never should’ve occurred.
Word!

These terrorists from the Garden State
were two young men who became irate .
They’re losers who couldn’t get a date,
couldn’t find a mate.
Procreate?
That wasn’t their fate.
So they went to Newark International
with thoughts that weren’t rational.
So they tried for Somalia
and new plans for their genitalia.
That was their hope
but these stupid dopes
who should be hung from a rope
are going where they better not drop the soap.

We lost John Wooden, The Wizard Of Westwood.
I’m not a fan of any wizard; but he was great, not good.
The Hall of Fame
seems almost lame
for what he bought to the game.
A true genius is not a boastful claim.
His loss is truly a shame.
He coached great players, many became stars
like Wicks, Walton, and Abdul-Jabbar.
But Wooden was the biggest by far.
So goodbye coach
Your life’s work is beyond reproach.
It’s up to us to strive
to keep your legacy alive.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
A Bruin, that description is fair.
He watched UCLA play from the comfort of his easy chair.
Last weekend he was sitting there
when he heard the news on the air
that Wooden was gone, he just sat and stared.
He was the greatest coach beyond compare.
Fuzzy bowed his head and said a little prayer.