You Too Can Be Jesse Jackson: But You Don't Want to be LT

Say the following rhymes in your best prosecutorial Jesse Jackson voice:

Last week LT copped a plea
for rape in the 3rd degree
based on a young girl’s I. D.
he didn’t see.

This was no sack,
no hack press attack,
no helpless quarterback,
not caught smoking crack,
or even falling off the right track,
it was LT’s judgment lack,
that was truly whack.
Sex, with a young girl, whosw eye was already black?
You should’ve hit the road jack
and spared Giant Nation
this sad humiliation
and then made an anonymous phone call to the local police station.

You used to dominate the field
Chase quarterbacks with zeal
Tackles tried to block you like they were on banana peels.
You were the defensive ideal.
What you did was surreal.
But you didn’t feel
the slip of the wheel
that was causing your life to take a turn.
Just when you were starting to earn,
after years of concern,
that by playing with fire, you were bound to get burned.
There you were, cuffed, looking concerned,
hoping to be adjourned,
waiting for a court date return.

How did things get so far?
Dancing with the stars,
a golf trip trying to make par,
smoking cigars
in a hotel bar,
waiting for a kidnap victim brought by car?
That’s one helluva of a fall, by far.

Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear.
He thought LT was so good that it was unfair.
Taylor made offenses swear with flair.
He caused teams to play with tight ends in pairs.
After collecting hundreds of quarterback hides
great left tackles got rich for protecting their blind sides.
LT gave Giant fans, like Fuzzy, a wild ride.
Fuzzy wore his Giants jersey with pride.
Last week Fuzzy took off his #56 jersey and cried.
Fuzzy, keep hope alive

You are living the dream!