From the Green Room: Camera Shy No More

bad teacherA former New Hampshire High School teacher plead guilty to charges that she texted nude photos of herself to a 15-year old student. Star Magazine has graphic shots of a naked Angelina Jolie with a dog collar around her neck and electrical tape over her nipples. There are rumors of a sex tape featuring former Presidential Candidate John Edwards and his baby mama Rielle Hunter. When did Americans suddenly stop being camera shy?   

Porn stars and skin mag centerfolds aside, who EVER feels comfortable being naked, let alone in front of a Polaroid or an iPhone?  Does anybody ever wind up thinking that videotaping themselves bumping uglies was a good idea? I don’t even like the way I look when I walk past a mirror with my clothes on. Why would I ever want to record myself in my most vulnerable of moments? I don’t’ even want to see the look on my face when I’m doing it. Besides, if it’s indeed true that the camera does add 20 pounds, then most sex tapes would resemble Shamu’s feed tank at SeaWorld. Although, if I had sexted bottomless photos of myself to anybody, that little optical physics formula might actually have worked in my favor.

Granted, Angelina was in the middle of a smoking heroin binge when the photos were taken. And it’s not like we’re talking about Mother Teresa posing in the buff—it’s Angelina Jolie. But you do wonder about that high school teacher’s motivation for ‘sexting’ a student a jpeg of her genitals.  

In the past ten years, there has been a torrent of tawdry teachers engaged in sexual conduct with students.  And they are always the hottest teachers in the district.  It’s not a new practice; even back when I was in high school, there were female instructors who taught a little more than the three R’s in the school parking lot. The only difference is they more resembled the lunch ladies. No hair net, but the same sweat stained armpit rings on their blouses and moustaches. The LAST thing you’d ever want to see would be a jpeg or video of them.

Even with their clothes on.