Congressman Anthony Weiner Lived Up To His Name

Congressman Anthony Weiner, a Democrat from New York, looked up from his blackberry long enough to tell Imus he'd had enough of the rodeo reports. "What the hell is 'riding bareback?'" he asked. "It sounds like a porno update."

Weiner, whose hilarious last name we'll get to later, represents Senator Chuck Schumer old congressional district in Brooklyn and Queens, and actually interned for Schumer straight out of college.

"When I started working for him I was 6-3, had blond hair, and a little nose," said Weiner, who is well under six feet, brown-haired, and with a more substantial schnoz. "I kind of morphed into the more Semitic version of myself."

A big supporter of Medicare and government-run health care in general, Weiner said the goal in reforming health care is to reduce costs, to provide people with options, and to end patient mistreatment by private health insurance companies.

"Let's try to introduce some competition," he said, and advocated for expanding Medicare. "It works for people over 65 — why not 64? Why not 63? Why not 211, or however old you are?"

Imus really couldn't protest this abuse, since he had been making "weiner" jokes since around 6:07 a.m. today.

The status quo in health care, as Weiner sees it, is unsustainable, which is why he's promoting a government-run option, which he insists will level the playing field a bit. "Most employers only offer one choice, so people really can't shop around," he said.

If a government plan turns out to be better and cheaper, and more people opt for it, then private companies shouldn't succeed. "The idea that the American people can't choose for themselves the option they think is best is what I find offensive," said Weiner.

Health care reform would further allow people to "shop around," he said, a luxury currently afforded people like Weiner and his fellow members of Congress. His ideal plan would include cutting the fat on Medicare, and making it a more efficient program.

Republicans like Senator John McCain, who has come out strongly against this idea, are simply "playing politics," in Weiner opinion.

"These are the same guys who, when they were in charge, never really supported Medicare, and they don't really now," he said. "They're thumping their chest that they love Medicare, but they hate government programs. Those are two inconsistent positions."

In closing, our guest was forced to answer this high-minded question: "What's been your experience with the Weiner name?"

Weiner said it's actually come in handy in politics, and quoted some of his early campaign slogans: "Vote for Weiner, he'll be frank;" "Vote for Weiner, he'll relish your vote;" and "Vote for Weiner, he's on a roll."

And contrary to Imus's long-held theory, Weiner has no designs on being a Senator.

"We already have one overbearing Jewish guy in the Senate representing New York," he joked.

-Julie Kanfer