Dick Gregory Asks A Lot Of Questions

Dick Gregory knew the economy was bad when, on his daily 4 a.m. walk today, he passed by Macys department store.

"They had a 'sale' sign in the window," said Gregory, the famed comedian and activist. "Buy one suit, get as many as you want."

Following an interesting few moments where Gregory tried to get Imus to say a word Imus will never, ever say, Gregory posed some questions about last week's shootings at Fort Hood in Texas.

"Nobody said, 'How did they get there that quick?'" he said, referring to the civilian police who arrived on scene at the military base during the attack. "Those weren't military cops. How did they get there within two minutes? How come we haven't heard that 911 call?"

This line of questioning was directly related to Gregory's frustration with the media. "The American people, we just swallow anything without saying, 'Wait a minute, this is not making sense,'" he said.

Imus sighed, and begged his guest to stop asking such problematic questions. Gregory backed off, but then said of the perpetrator bringing guns on the base, "You're telling me the military bases don't have some type of system that can scan your car? I hope the military's not that stupid!"

Having served two years in the U.S. Marine Corps, Imus acted like he could be some sort of authority on this matter until Gregory pointed out, "They didn't have weapons back then."

Making the natural progression from that topic to Michael Vick and dogs in general, Gregory said Vick should have been more aware of how white folks feel about their dogs.

"I got white folks that live around me, they lie about their dog's age!" said Gregory, adding that he's learned a lot about his neighbors. "They hire nannies to change the baby's diaper. But they walk their own dogs and pick up the dog's poop!"

Gregory turned 77 years old this past October 12, which is also Columbus Day. It's a confusing holiday, in his opinion.

"They say Columbus discovered America — how can you discover a country that's already occupied?" he wondered. "If you can discover a country that's already occupied, I can walk out in the parking lot today and discover your car, with you in it."

He's also baffled that death row inmates so often "find" Jesus while waiting to die. Imus agreed, adding, "I'd like to know how Jesus feels about that."

-Julie Kanfer