From the Greenroom: TMI at IITM

Sitting here at my workstation under the flatscreen TVs showing the High Def Fox Business Network Feed of the Imus in the Morning Program, I think I just heard Warner Wolf say he sleeps in the nude.

There are just some things we don’t need to know.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Warner.  He’s the absolute best; a true living legend, and one of the single greatest people on the planet.  But now, laser-etched in my mind, is the picture of his naked shmeckle resting against the 600-thread count sheets on his King Sized bed at Wolf Manor.  It conjures images of what it might look like if the Lucky Charms Leprechaun was in a porn movie.

All this leads me to postulate on some other “secrets” of the Imus in the Morning staff that would be best left…well, secrets.  Herewith are some things you might not know…and most likely would rather not know about your favorite morning folk:

During commercial breaks, Lou Rufino gives himself mani/pedis with a clam knife.

Charles has a small growth under his left armpit that is actually his undeveloped twin brother “Eric.”

I get my back waxed every Thursday, and have had several sweaters made with the hair.

Bernard’s drag name is “Eva Braun.”

On Arbor Day, the entire staff gathers in a six-table “party room” for simultaneous high-colonics.

I told ya you wouldn’t want to know.