6:05:00 a.m. – The I-Man relates a story about a phone conversation he had with his dear friend, Mike Lupica, yesterday. Apparently, ‘Lupy’ was was in the car, and, safe driver that he is, was going ‘Hands Free’ and put The Boss on speakerphone. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Imus, Mikey’s lovely wife, Taylor, was in the car with him, and heard every foul and filthy word uttered by The I-Man. He should’ve known better. If Lupica is in the car, he is never alone, as he is in the back in the booster seat.
LUPICA: ONE DAY HE WILL BE IN THE ‘BIG BOY CHAIR’
6:07:56 a.m. – Dr. Bill Evans will be at the golf outing. He will be happy to know that the Edgewood Country Club has Valet Parking. As Lupica will not be in attendance due to a prior commitment on his book tour, Evans will be the subject of the majority of Rob’s material at the dinner that evening. He thinks his old lady beat him up…
A QUIET SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE EVANS HOUSEHOLD
6:40:34 a.m. – Bernard has said that the I-Man’s hair makes him look like Phyllis Diller. K.T. suggests he looks more like Albert Einstein. We, on the other hand, believe he just attempted to pee through a straw.
WILL THE REAL DON IMUS…PLEASE STAND UP?
7:03:45 a.m. – Dagen promotes an upcoming story from her Business Report…about a ‘Driverless Car’. Imus remarks that, back in the old days, with Brant behind the wheel, he also had no driver…and, by the way, no pants.
UNLIKE BRANT, THE DRIVERLESS CAR…NEVER GETS LOST
7:17:22 a.m. – Dagen observes that John Kerry ‘Looks Different’. His face is much fuller. She suggests that perhaps he is juicing. There may be some credence to that theory. His Batting Average has spiked significantly.
JOHN KERRY. JUICING? WHO’S TO SAY?
7:40:57 a.m. – Mike Baker is on to discuss Syria. Dagen thinks he’s the perfect man. “He can get it done…and then afterwards, shiv somebody who’s wronged you.”
8:05:33 a.m. – “If you’re rocking those ‘Bling Jeans’, and you got a big ol’ butt…don’t do that.” The I-Man, imploring Fashion Conscious Big Butted Women everywhere.
NO ‘BLING’ IF YOU’RE A ‘BIG THING’…UNLESS YOU’RE GOING TO A SIR MIX A LOT CONCERT, IN WHICH CASE, ‘I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE’
8:27:56 a.m. – Despite the fact that he watched the VMA’s, TIVOed the VMAs and watched them again with Deirdre and Wyatt, the I-Man was unaware that Rob was actually AT the VMAs, prominently featured in Katy Perry’s final musical number. Perhaps he just assumed Louie Anderson’s career got a shot in the arm…
“WHO’S THE FAT DUDE BEHIND KATY PERRY?”
8:41:56 a.m. – Fred Dicker is on to discuss Weiner. Dicker on Weiner. Sounds like a typical Saturday Night at the Ramrod.
DICKER AND WEINER FEELING ‘COCKY’
9:06:46 a.m. – Deirdre has sent the I-Man an email. “You need to go back to wearing the Sports Jackets and Western Shirts and stop talking about women in their jeans.” He suggests that instead of writing him emails about his appearance and how he should conduct his program, she should be worried about whipping up some lunch for him when he gets home. We obviously know who wears the jeans in the Imus household. The I-Man. At least when Deirdre’s not around.
A QUIET SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE IMUS HOUSEHOLD
9:11:56 a.m. – Imus has made a pronouncement: From now on, in lieu of the Overly Expensive Joseph Abboud Sports Jackets, and Custom Made Western Shirts, he is going to wear his coffee stained denim jackets and Hanes T-Shirts…or, as the homeless to whom will eventually receive these garments refer to them: “Formal Wear”
“GOT ANY MORE OF THOSE NIKES LEFT, I-MAN?”
VIDEO OF THE DAY
IS THAT BURGESS MEREDITH?