6:05:10 a.m. – Today the I-Man lends his considerable power and influence to an endeavor, so worthy… ‘It’s stupid’, to quote the I-Man. The idea’s not stupid…it’s just stupid nobody tried to come up with this idea before. The Reverend Jonathan Mason, our Sales Czar at WABC, has created “Camp New Joy”, a place where kids who have no role models, and are defined by just their zip code, will be given a ‘Hand Up’ and not a ‘Hand Out’. They will be provided with structure and discipline, and have their self-esteem restored. The number to call is 1-855-6 New Joy. (Or 855-663-9569) Or Text 56512, or go to http://www.campnewjoy.org/
THE REVEREND JONATHAN MASON
6:06:12 a.m. – Connell reads the news, and plays a clip of the inspirational speech President Obama gave at the White House yesterday for his “My Brother’s Keeper Initiative” for young men of color. In the speech, he relates his experience as a troubled teen. “I got high.” He shares. “Pretty good, a President of the United States admitting he got high” the I-Man observes. No, “I tried it, I didn’t like it, and I didn’t inhale” jive from Obama. The President has demonstrated the concept of… “If you can’t find a role model…BE one.”
“UNLIKE SOME POLITICIANS, I CAN ADMIT A MISTAKE” – NELSON MANDELA
THE PRESIDENT INSPIRES AMERICA’S YOUTH THROUGH THE BENEFIT OF HIS OWN EXPERIENCE
6:30:01 a.m. – The I-Man and the Rev discuss the late, great G.E. Patterson, a truly gifted preacher, one who, the Rev admits, he has been inspired by, as well. The only difference is, when the Rev says he’s been ‘inspired’ by Bishop Patterson, he means he’s copped some sermon ideas. In other words, he’s stealing material. From a dead Preacher. Well, it’s not like Bishop Patterson’s going to do anything about it now.
“LORD, FORGIVE BROTHER MASON…FOR HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE DOES.
THAT’S RIGHT…HE’S STUPID!”
6:40:46 a.m. – Alvin Darling and Celebration perform. Reverend Mason has brought some Church up in here. A pretty good way to start the morning. After listening to them…you don’t need any coffee.
7:12:15 a.m. – Just when we thought we were going to have a ‘Rodeo Free’ day, the I-Man is talking about Joe Beaver and ‘The American’. Again. It pains us to say this, but we would rather listen to him tell the ‘Mama T’ story again. We will call 1-855-New Joy…and pledge ANYTHING…just to get him to shut up.
70 YEAR OLD BARREL RACER, JUNE HOLEMAN, HAS QUALIFIED FOR ‘THE AMERICAN’
(MS. HOLEMAN IS ON THE LEFT)
7:17:34 a.m. – Cowboy Tuf Cooper, (Son of Roper Roy Cooper, and A Certified Pantload by the I-Man) has guaranteed a win at ‘The American’ this Sunday. “Losing is not an option.” He says. Um…Tuf? Losing is ALWAYS an option. And one you might find you’re forced to take on Sunday. It’s not pretty when you’re taunted by a Calf: “Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah…you MISSED me!”
HEY TUF! WHERE’S THE BIKER, THE COP, THE INDIAN AND THE CONSTRUCTION WORKER?
7:46:34 a.m. – Alvin Darling and ‘Celebration’ perform ‘America The Beautiful’. After that rendition, Vladimir Putin would apply for U.S. Citizenship.
“I NEVER KNEW THAT FREEDOM…COULD MAKE A MAN SING LIKE THAT.”
8:26:14 a.m. – MORE Alvin Darling and ‘Celebration’. There hasn’t been this much joy and positive energy in the studio…since…EVER. The I-Man might just spontaneously combust. And not in the ‘Gay’ Way.
HELLFIRE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! OUT, DEMON, OUT!
9:05:10 A.M. - Imus wants Tony to come up with a ‘Rap Name’ for him. ‘Walk D.O.A.’, ‘CWA: ‘Cowboys With Attitude’ and ‘Old Stupid Bastard’ don’t feel right…then…blinding inspiration:
“IT’S LIKE A NURSING HOME, SOMETIMES…IT MAKES ME WONDER…HOW I KEEP FROM GOIN’ UNDER.”
VIDEO OF THE DAY
A LITTLE PRAISE SONG TO SET YOU OFF ON YOUR WEEKEND
COURTESY OF ALVIN DARLING AND ‘CELEBRATION’
DON’T FORGET TO CALL
1-855-6 New Joy. (855-663-9569)
Or Text 56512,
Or Go to http://www.campnewjoy.org/