6:05:10 a.m. – The I-Man shares that when he talks about people with whom he has discourse off the air, he never mentions their names…unless he has something positive to say about them, which is…never. Anyway, turns out the contractor the Boss had quote him a 5 Million dollar price for the rodeo arena at Oak Hill, in Texas, didn’t say it would cost 5 Million...if the I-Man had paid attention and listened to the rest of the pitch, and didn’t get distracted by the Patriots game, he would have heard the contractor continue to say, ‘But that’s not what it will cost…’ How unusual for Imus to get something wrong like that.
I-MAN WON’T PAY MORE THAN 4.5 MILLION FOR THIS…
6:17:34 a.m. – Warner announces that it will be an ‘All Swiss Final’ in the Australian Open…Stanislas Wawrinka vs. Rafael Nadal. Um…Warner? Rafael Nadal is from Spain. But he likes Fondue.
“MMM…!ME GUSTA ESA QUESO SUIZA…ME GUSTA MUCHO!”
6:38:13a.m. – Anthony Mason is on to talk about his feature on the Grammy Nominees. All we know is Justin Bieber isn’t nominated for anything…other than “MVP” ‘Most Valuable Prisoner’.
WHEN YOUR MUGSHOT LOOKS LIKE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION PICTURE…YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM
7:05:15 a.m. – Bo Dietl is on to give his expert opinion on the big Mob roundup from yesterday, where some of the guys responsible for the 1978 Lufthansa Heist, that netted 5.8 Million Dollars. Perhaps some of that money should’ve been used to find a better hiding place that wouldn’t be discovered 36 years later.
“YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT…YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CREAMED CORN…YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE A NAP TWO OR THREE TIMES A DAY…YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE INCONTINENT…”
7:06:12 a.m. – Bo isn’t here yet. We’re a little nervous. He knows the gentlemen in question…we hope they didn’t ‘reach out’ to him and ‘Touchitate’ him. We don’t need any Wackatation Situation.
WE HOPE THIS ISN’T BO.
7:07:14 a.m. – We breathe a sigh of relief as Bo eventually shows up. We don’t know why we worried so much. It’s Bo. He’d beat Robert DeNiro to death with Joe Pesci. He reveals that, as a NYC Detective, he locked up Jimmy ‘The Gent’ Burke, the mastermind behind the Lufthansa deal. Unfortunately, (Or fortunately for Bo) Jimmy died in jail.
“NOT FOR NOTHIN’ BO…BUT YOU GOT A BIG MOUTH ON YOU.”
7:12:24 a.m. – The I-Man says that he believes they should’ve let this old mobsters go. That way he can be absolutely sure he won’t need Brant to start the Bentley for him.
“DAMMIT! NOW I NEED ANOTHER ESCALADE…OH YEAH…AND A DRIVER.”
7:28:56 a.m. – Bruce Jenner, apparently, is being considered for next season’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’. We get the feeling that, when he does the Foxtrot, he won’t be the one who ‘leads’.
BRUCE IN HIS BID TO JOIN THE LPGA
7:36:30 a.m. – During a discussion of the use of the word ‘Thug’ to describe Richard Sherman, Lou Rufino actually uses the word ‘Indigenous’. We’re not sure he knows what it means, but, not only are we impressed that he invoked the word…but he pronounced it correctly.
IS THIS ‘VINNIE FROM QUEENS’? OR SOME GAY VERSION OF ‘THE BRADY BUNCH’?
(IMUS IS ALICE)
7:45:37 a.m. – Vinnie from Queens. Bombshell. The Red Sox will shave their beards for the 2014 Season.
WHO KNEW THE RED SOX WERE AMISH?
8:05:10 a.m. – Bo is back with more Mob stories. He discusses how the original case was busted due to the remainder of a hand…that was ‘DNA-ized’, and that’s how the identity of the body part was discovered. Note to self: When disposing a body…make sure you use EXTRA lime. And DON’T bury it in your backyard. And NEVER forget…the hand is the easiest thing to identify.
WHOEVER CAN IDENTIFY THIS BODY...RAISE YOUR HAND
8:33:06 a.m. – Our fearless leader, the GREAT Neil Cavuto is on…we don’t know why, and we don’t care. We love him. It’s a full-on man-crush.
NEIL’S GRADE SCHOOL CLASS PHOTO
8:38:56 a.m. – The I-Man mentions that he was asked not to say anything about some deal having to do with Fox Business, and, true to his word, he hasn’t. Although he’s brought it up 5 times this morning, he hasn’t revealed what it is. He has, however, been asked by everyone he meets in the hallways here at NewsCorp, what he thinks about the news…that he has refused to mention. He asks Neil what the deal is with that. Mr. Cavuto’s response? “Like the Lufthansa caper…sometimes you just have to wait for the right time to see how things work out.” Okay. So…Kevin Magee WAS involved in the heist.
KEVIN MAGEE…(DRIVING THE GETAWAY TOW VEHICLE) IN THE LUFTHANSA HEIST
WE DON’T KNOW WHERE HE WAS ABLE TO HIDE IT.
8:42:8:30 – The other shoe drops…The I-Man asks Neil if he had anything to do with the hiring of Maria Bartiromo… “Didn’t she peak in the ‘90’s?” Classic I-Man. Welcome Maria. Fasten your seatbelt and wear a helmet. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
MARIA GEARING UP FOR HER NEW GIG AT FOX BUSINESS
VIDEO OF THE DAY
IN LIGHT OF THE LUFTHANSA HEIST, AND THE RECENT ARRESTS THEREIN,
WE OFFER A COUPLE OF THE BEST SCENES FROM THE FILM IT INSPIRED:
THE MARTIN SCORCESE CLASSIC