6:05:00 A.M. – The I-Man begins by telling us he needs to get a Texas Drivers’ License. He follows the Google Map to the Department of Motor Vehicles…and when the App says “Destination is on the right”, he sees it, and pulls into the parking lot; simultaneously cutting off the car behind him…which also pulls into the parking lot. Turns out it’s a big ol’ woman…who works at the Texas DMV. He’ll be applying for his new license another time.
HOW LONG UNTIL IT’S REVOKED?
6:17:44 A.M. – The Boss tells us that Lis Wiehl will be phoning in for Blonde on Blonde this morning…which isn’t unusual, because she’s been phoning it in for years… (see what we did there). Despite I-Man’s assessment of Lis’ work ethic, (maintaining she’s too lazy to come into the studio…and after all, it’s radio) he says it’s fine if she calls rather than appear in person. After all, it’s radio, and we have no idea what’s going on live, especially in the Brenham Studio. “You don’t even know if I have any pants on.” He says. Yes we do. You never wore them when you were here, Imus…why would you start wearing them now?
STRANGELY, IT’S A GOOD LOOK FOR HIM…
6:25:50 A.M. – Warner plays a clip of Jets Coach Todd Bowles, who weighs in on IK Enemkpali (try to say THAT name 5 times fast) breaking Geno Smith’s jaw in an altercation over 600 Dollars. Coach Bowles: “You don’t walk up to somebody and punch him in the face.” Wow. You sure, Coach? You’re really going out on a limb there.
TO BE HONEST, WE’RE SURPRISED NOBODY TRIED TO PUNCH GENO SMITH IN THE MOUTH BEFORE THIS
6:40:27 A.M. – K.T. McFarland is on, and the I-Man proudly tells the story of adopted son Zach going to Pensacola for Navy Flight School, and mentions that he knows K.T.’s daughter is also in the Navy and wants to know if she’s as good looking as her mother. “She’s a lot smarter and tougher” says Ms. McFarland. So…in other words…no.
UM…K.T., NO OFFENSE…BUT YOU’RE MUCH PRETTIER
7:05:17 A.M. – In the wake of the Geno Smith broken jaw story, the I-Man professes his admiration for the Jets Quarterback…because he sent cell phone pictures of his penis to a girl and…was unapologetic.
GENO SMITH’S ‘DICK’ PICTURE
7:17:34 A.M. – After criticizing Hillary Clinton for the Middle East rise of ISIS, Jeb Bush is judged by the I-Man to possibly be “…dumber than his brother.” Neil?
THAT’D MAKE SOME COIN AT THE BOX OFFICE…
7:36:06 A.M. – BLONDE ON BLONDE, or, as we like to call it… WHY? WHAT DID WE DO? Lis is calling from home…and you can hear she has no makeup on.
LIS ‘AU NATURALE’ ON THE PHONE FOR B ON B
7:41:16 A.M. – Weighing in on the Ben Affleck / Jennifer Garner situation, Deirdre maintains that one should not hire an attractive Caretaker for their children. “You don’t want some hot babe changing your kids’ diapers.” Ironic, especially considering the I-Man has a hot babe changing his…
ALL DRY NOW…
8:07:34 A.M. – Imus says he’s found a way to slow life down. “I stop and think about everything I do.” Which is pretty easy for him while he’s walking to the studio…because it takes a few hours.
TAKE IT SLOW, BOSS…TAKE IT SLOW…
8:10:20 A.M. – Imus promos the upcoming appearance of NASCAR Legend Darrell Waltrip, and his 6th Annual Waltrip Brothers Charity Championship in October, where Travis Tritt will be the headliner. The Boss wonders aloud, how far down the list you have to go before you get to Mr. Tritt…
EVEN BILLY JOE SHAVER THINKS TRAVIS TRITT IS A FUNNY CHOICE…
8:40:08 A.M. – The Aforementioned Darrell Waltrip phones in, and says that he turned on his TV and thought Imus wasn’t there. We’d say he was just unaware that the I-Man is no longer on Fox Business…but Mr. Waltrip was sitting in front of his microwave at the time.
VIDEO OF THE DAY
TAXI’S JIM IGNATOWSKI’S CLASSIC DRIVERS LICENSE TEST
(HE’LL HAVE AN EASIER TIME GETTING A TEXAS LICENSE THAN THE I-MAN WILL AFTER THIS MORNING…)