6:06:06 a.m. – Delbert McClinton is here! And, as always, whenever he’s here, the I-Man is in particularly good humor…it’s like adding cheese to something…it just makes the day that much better.
6:12:22 a.m. – World Champion Calf Roper, Cody Ohl, held his annual bucking bull, Steak Cookoff PBR Chute Out Benefit…and, somehow, wound up getting gored in the head. The resulting injury looks suspiciously like the University of Texas Longhorns Logo. It appears that the bull…branded HIM.
WE NEVER KNEW CODY WAS THAT BIG A UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS FAN
6:23:46 a.m. – Ashley Webster reports that Taco Bell has applied for the license to sell booze. Which, to us, seems a little like overkill…considering 99% of the people in the Drive Thru line are already drunk.
“HEY! HEYYYYYYY….YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME A SHTRAW FOR MUH…MY MARGARITA,,,”
6:28:14 a.m. – High School Pole Vaulter, Charlotte Brown finished third at the Texas State High School championships…despite the fact that she’s blind. She was awarded the bronze medal. Of course, her seeing eye dog didn’t get anything. Which really wasn’t fair because he was just as responsible for her success as she was.
IT WAS A LOT SCARIER FOR THE DOG THAN IT WAS FOR HER
6:35:14 a.m. – Delbert sings the first song of the morning, ‘Can You Squeeze Me In?’ which features Kevin McKendree , and his son, Yates,(THIRTEEN YEAR OLD SON, BTW, HOLY $#!%) who play the ‘Three Handed Piano’. Which isn’t all that impressive, if you ask us. Get ONE guy to play ‘Three Handed Piano’ and then you’re talkin’.
AND WE CAN’T GET OUR SONS TO JUST TAKE OUT THE F@#$ing GARBAGE
6:41: 33 a.m. – Bo Dietl is…FIRED UP this morning about the treatment of Veterans, and the travestizationatation situation therein. He asks the Rhetorical Question: “Why can’t we help our Veterans with their health care? They should just get a card and go anywhere…because 22 veterans currently, take their own lives every day. As crazy as he sounds…we can’t argue. Because he’s right. He then pivots to the Swerviling Creep, George Stephanopoulos…Sweverling? SWERVILING? Yes. That’s when ‘Sniveling’ person changes their position on an issue…while driving. Causing them to avoid hitting objects in the road.
GEORGE AND ‘SKIPPY’, HIS GERBIL. SWERVILING
7:05:04 a.m. – The I-Man talks about Jim Nance’s self-serving promo for David Letterman’s last show. He mentions how many times he’s read a promo for The Late Show, and then thanks Dave for everything he’s done for the network. Gee, Jim. Maybe you could’ve said something about how Dave changed the genre of late night interview shows, paving the ways for Conan, Fallon and Kimmel. We don’t know why Nance was never on the show to do a ‘Stupid Sportscaster Trick’.
JIM’S UNIQUE TALENT? MAKING HIMSELF UP IN LIKENESSES OF FAMOUS RUNNING BACKS. WE DON’T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT!
7:15:34 a.m. – The I-man promotes the fact that TV watchers can download the iHeart Radio App so they can listen to the program, regardless of whether or not they have a radio affiliate in their area. So get your iHeart on. (See what we did there?)
AN ‘I-HEART’ ‘I-FAN’
7:32:09 a.m. – Delbert and the boys do ‘Everything Will Be Rosy’, a song that he’s recorded but hasn’t released yet, and promises to send the I-Man a copy as long as he doesn’t play it on the air…a promise to which, he realizes, he will never get the I-Man to agree. “Go ahead and do what you’re going to do…” Smart move, Delbert.
A FEW PANELS FROM THE POPULAR ‘DELBERT’ COMIC STRIP
7:40:18 a.m. – VINNIE FROM QUEENS or, as we like to call it, ‘What the Hell is Warner Talking About?’ The Gentlemen discuss the NY Rangers, the L.A. Clipper Collapse…and whether the I-Man has ever been to the Belmont Stakes. He claims that, back in the day, he was on so many diet pills, he weighed 105 pounds. HE could’ve been a jockey.
THE I-MAN RIDING ‘GOD’S OTHER SON’ IN THE 5TH AT BELMONT. HE LOST. THE HORSE JOCKEY THEN BECAME A DISC JOCKEY, AND THE HORSE BECAME…GLUE
8:05:10 a.m. – The Epic failure of the Los Angeles Clippers and their owner, Steve Balmer…leads the I-Man to ‘Wax Philosophical’, about God. Some people believe in Him, some don’t. “For that guy to have that much money is proof that there is no God”. And, for that matter, the Existence of the Im-In-Cu-Bus itelf.
WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
8:15:10 a.m. – Connell reads a story about the possibility of somebody throwing rocks at the train. The I-Man says that, when he was a Brakeman for the Southern Pacific railroad, they used to throw rocks at the trains HE was on. “Are you sure they were throwing them at ‘the Train’, Imus?
“FIVE BUCKS IF YOU HIT THE SKINNY DUDE IN THE COWBOY HAT!”
8:40:18 a.m. – Delbert and the boys are back, and he turns the microphone over to Kevin and Yates, who do an instrumental they wrote called ‘Midnight Creep’. The Boss wonders where they got the album title from. They say that it was dark when they first showed up and he was already there and scared them.
IT’S DARK ENOUGH TO BE MIDNIGHT…AND KEVIN AND YATES APPEAR TO HAVE A CREEP STALKING THEM.
8:43:33 a.m. - Delbert sings ‘Two More Bottles of Wine’. Which, at one time, used to be the I-man’s Anthem…and, Breakfast order, interestingly enough.
MERLOT. MAKE IT PART OF YOUR NUTRITIOUS BREAKFAST…
VIDEO OF THE DAY
Yates and Kevin McKendree
AND A BONUS…
‘BOOGIE WOOGIE #1’