6:05:00 A.M. – The I-Man is happy this morning. George Schultz is torqued off at Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard for Killing Reagan, Donald Trump has lost his mind, and the Cowboys beat the Indians, Dallas -19, Washington Redskins – 16. We’re happy when the I-Man is happy. Because if he’s not happy ain’t nobody happy. Which is kind of palindromic Mobius strip of a situation, because, he’s happiest when nobody is happy. Which is the definition of a ‘Vicious Circle’.
A VICIOUS CIRCLE
6:15:30 A.M. – Imus maintains that Ted Cruz is like one of those greasy televangelists like Joel Osteen. Which is an insult to Joel Osteen.
WE DON’T REALLY SEE THE LIKENESS, QUITE FRANKLY
6:17:54 A.M. – “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.” Redskins head coach Jay Gruden’s quote regarding Washington’s loss to the Cowboys. “Listen, Tubbo, your brother is in the booth, you’re on the field, figure it out NOW!” Broadcast Legend Don Imus’ quote regarding Jay Gruden’s quote.
CLUELESS: JAY AND JON GRUDEN. (FRANK CALIENDO AS JON GRUDEN)
6:40:27 A.M. – Dr. Richard Haass, The President of the Council on Foreign Relations. He didn’t think President Obamas speech was all that effective, and that keeping Muslims from coming into America is a bad idea. Way to go out on a limb, Doc.
DR. HAASS, REALLY TAKING A CHANCE
6:05:10 A.M. – The Boss accuses Bernie of being ‘Fraidy Scared’ of Bill O’Reilly. He wants to know if he could needle O’Reilly about the George Schultz dis of his book. Bernie answers no, the most he could do would be saying something like: “That George Schultz is off the hook, isn’t he?” The boys from Forensics are dusting O’Reilly’s ass for Bernard’s Lip Prints as we speak.
BERNARD ASSUMING THE POSITION
7:17:34 A.M. – Imus relates a story about having dinner at a Muslim family’s house, despite the fact that he was suffering from a fever, with terrible chills, and they did not have a blanket for him. Dinner conversation was pleasant at first, and then they started talking about the Jews. And not very flatteringly. This, of course, offended the I-Man, who, as Kinky Friedman crowned him, is a Jew. By inspiration.
7:39:16 A.M. – HOLLYWOOD & VINE Riedel says Imogen Lloyd Weber’s Dad’s new Broadway Musical, ‘School of Rock’ is going to be a monster hit. Imus says “Make me go see it.”
WE GUESS HE’D RATHER BE IN IT.
Deirdre finds Kimye’s naming their new infant son ‘Saint’ to be an uplifting, positive respite from the horrible events of late. Riedel is disdainful of Celebrities and what they name their children, and says that although he was born on December 24th, he wasn’t named Jesus or Joseph. We’re just surprised they didn’t call him ‘Mary’.
THE VIRGIN RIEDEL. HE LOOKS GOOD IN PORCELAIN
Gunz has a problem with the Grammy Nominations…and doesn’t know why Coldplay is providing the Half Time Entertainment at this year’s Super Bowl L (50). He thinks Billy Joel would be a better choice. Gunz, apparently, is a big Billy Joel fan, as evidenced by his favorite song being… ‘Crackerjack’. Ummm…Gunz, it’s ‘Captain Jack’. It’s not ‘And Crackerjack will get you high tonight…although it will be pretty damn tasty after you DO get high.
GUNZ AND BILLY ONE WILD NIGHT AT NASSAU COLISEUM CIR. 1987
Riedel, however, is THRILLED that Barry Manilow, (A good friend of his, he says) was nominated for a Grammy for his ‘Duets’ Album.
MICHAEL RIEDEL & HIS PAL BARRY MANILOW ON ‘WHITNEY HOUSTON NIGHT’ AT THE WHITE SWALLOW
8:05:11 A.M. – The I-Man relates another story from his legendary past, this one about the time he went on a Roller coaster while High on Cocaine. How do you think that one went?
THE BOSS APPEARS UNCHARACTERISTICALLY CALM
8:40:43 A.M. – Curtis Sliwa is the guest, and we get a very detailed look at his origins, his four marriages, his getting shot up by the mob, and the founding of the Guardian Angels. We learn that his first wife was black, and that he has 3 kids that he takes full responsibility for, at least the three that he knows about.
MOREY GIVES CURTIS THE GOOD NEWS
VIDEO OF THE DAY
35 Years Ago
We read the news today…oh boy.
AS A TRIBUTE TO THE I-MAN
AND HIS ROLLERCOASTER EXPERIENCE
(We don’t suggest you do coke prior to watching these)