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Deirdre's Corner

Don't forget to catch Deirdre on Psychos, Monday and Thursday at 7:35am and Blonde on Blonde, Wednesdays at 7:35am on Imus in the Morning! 


Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe - As a children's health advocate dedicated to raising awareness of and protecting children from the numerous toxins in this world, I cannot strongly enough recommend the film “Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe.”  Read more...

 Celebrating 15 Years Protecting Children's Health & the Environment

 The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center®  - When you are among the first voices to speak out on an issue, it’s difficult to know if anyone is listening. When I founded The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® at Hackensack University Medical Center fifteen years ago, concern about our children's health being impacted by toxic exposures in the environment was not the hot button, trendy issue it is today.  Read more...

 

Deirdre's Dish Pick

 

 Pimento Cheese -Recipe by Deirdre Imus, The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys - Here's a zippy cheese spread that is so much better than the processed, store-bought versions; the difference is like night and day. I grew up on these, my Grandma was the one who made it and she called it pickles and pimento.  She would dice pickles into it and serve sweet pickles on the side.  It's wonderful on crackers, stuffed into celery sticks, or as a spread for sandwiches. You can forego using a food processor for the preparation of this recipe and the results will be a little less smooth, but delicious nonetheless.

If you have a fond memory from your childhood about some of the dishes we post please let us know by emailing us at Dimus@hackensackumc.org or contact us here, we would love to hear your story.

 

Deirdre's Book Pick Of The Week

 

Vegan for Her by Virginia Messina - a blueprint for optimal health and wellness at any age, will show you how to: lower your risk for breast cancer and heart disease; manage conditions like arthritis and migraines; diminish PMs and cramps; build strong bones for life; enhance fertility; make an easy transition to a vegan diet; and incorporate principles of both fashion and compassion into your home and wardrobe.


    Support The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center

The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® is devoted to the health and well-being of children, their parents and the general public. Donations to the Environmental Health Center will support research on children's environmental health.

 

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Inside Imus Control Center
The Imus Ranch Foundation

With the closing of The Imus Ranch For Kids with Cancer, The Imus Ranch Foundation was formed to donate 100% of all donations previously devoted to The Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer to various other charities whose work and missions compliment those of the ranch. The initial donation from The Imus Ranch Foundation was awarded to Tackle Kids Cancer, a program of The HackensackUMC Foundation and the New York Giants.  In addition, once the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer is sold, 100% of those funds will be contributed to The Imus Ranch Foundation.

Warner's Sports Corner

Cavaliers continue perfect postseason, shoot their way into history - Cleveland Cavaliers shoot to win in their 123-98 romp over the Atlanta Hawks on Wednesday to go up 2-0 on the Eastern Conference semifinals.

Manziel turns himself in - Johnny Manziel booked, posts bond before Thursday court date

Atlanta Hawks need to take out a Cavaliers player - Charles Barkley thinks that the Hawks need to take matters into their own hands and “take out” a Cavaliers player.

Oscar De La Hoya Says Donald Trump Cheated at Golf - The former boxing champion Oscar De La Hoya said that was what he had seen when Trump joined up with his group at Trump National Golf Club in Los Angeles two years ago.

Recent Guests:
    Tuesday
    Nov102015

    Boy Got A Big Head

    6:05:00 A.M. – The I-Man comments on one of the moderators of tonight’s Fox Business:  Neil Cavuto.  “Boy got a big head, and there’s a lot of stuff in it.”  We envision Neil on a dock like in Jaws where they pull the shark out of the water and open its belly and all that junk falls out of it.  We hope Neil’s head has more than dead fish and license plates in it.

    NEIL CAVUTO.  HIS HEAD IS SO BIG…BECAUSE IT’S SO FULL OF DREAMS

    6:08:56 A.M. – Warner does a story about the new doping scandal involving Russian Athletes.  He then mentions a Russian Female Discus Thrower, Maria Ouspenskaya and plays a clip of her speaking.  She sounds suspiciously a lot like…Barry White.

    MARIA HAS QUITE AN ARM.  ALMOST AS BIG AS HER PENIS

    6:15:44 A.M. – At a press conference, Jeb Bush was asked the question that the New York Times magazine posted to its online readers:  If you were able to travel through time, could you kill a Baby Hitler?   Jeb’s answer?  “Hell yeah.”  Which also happens to be Warner’s answer.  Hitler, interestingly enough, would not. Although if he could Time-Travel he’d go into the future to kill a baby Lee Harvey Oswald.

    “MOMMY?  WHAT IS THAT SHORT MAN DOING WIT THAT GUN?”

    6:40:27 A.M. NY Jets Kicker, Nick Folk, will be out for 6 weeks because he strained his leg during warmups before the game.  The I-Man is incredulous at how a guy who makes his living by kicking could hurt his leg.  “They ought to cut him.”  He declares, “Not from the team, actually CUT him.”  Somebody call Ben Carson.  He’s got a knife.

    QUICK!  LOOK BEHIND YOU, NICK!

    7:05:37 A.M. – Today is the Marine Corps Birthday.  “You know, I was a Marine” the I-Man brags.  Yes.  But so was Lee Harvey Oswald.

    HMMMM.  LOOKS FAMILIAR.

    7:08:16 A.M. – The I-Man wants to know if Curtis wears the Red Beret ALL the time.  Yes.  He does.  Even when he gets his prostate checked.

    IT LOOKS LIKE CURTIS MAY BE ENJOYING THIS A BIT TOO MUCH

    7:15:36 A.M. – Imus bemoans the fact that debates haven’t changed much since the Lincoln/Douglas debate.  To which, the I-Man can attest, as he was there selling T-Shirts.

    “CHECK ‘EM OUT…ABE & STEVE DEBATE SHIRTS!  100% COTTON, PRE-SHRUNK!”

    7:39:16 A.M. HOLLYWOOD & VINE  and the only original member of the panel is Deirdre, as Gunz is filling in for Imogen Lloyd Weber, and, taking the place of Michael Riedel, Curtis Sliwa.   The first part of the segment is a Matchmaking one, with Don and Deirdre playing cupid…trying to set up Lis and Curtis.  The Beret Wearing Beefcake makes it known that he wants be Lis’ Guardian Angel and Patrol her ‘Subway’ But unlike the IRT, he won’t need a Metrocard to gain entry.

    WE’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT LIS’ HAS BEEN AROUND MORE TIME THAN A…

    7:40:16 A.M. – Deirdre is incensed at Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani’s Love Affair, as both were previously married, and she suspects they were running around before either of them was divorced.  We think they’re both innocent as Donnie and Marie, as…he’s just a little bit country…and she’s a little bit rock n’ roll.

    ‘BLAKIE’ & GWEN-IE’

    7:42:09 A.M. – Curtis admits that, although he usually HATES Spike Lee, he LOVES the idea of the new movie, an update of Greek Playwright Aristophanes’ ‘Lysistrata’, in which, all the women of a village refuse to have sex with their men, until they put down their shields and swords, and stop having wars. Apparently, it involves all the women of a violent Chicago Neighborhood attempting to stop the men from shooting each other by withholding the ‘Poontang’.  We appreciate Curtis using the Medical Term.

     

    MAYBE IT’S US…BUT IT DOESN’T APPEAR THAT IT WOULD BE ALL THAT DIFFICULT TO REMAIN CELIBATE IN THIS PARTICULAR VILLAGE

    7:44:16 A.M. – Gunz is incredulous at the ‘Backstage Experience’ being offered on the Demi Lovato / Nick Jonas Tour.  For only 10 thousand dollars, you can hang in the dressing room and take selfies with the Pop Duo. The special "Ultimate VIP Dressing Room" package – which allows 4 guests access to a private backstage dressing room (with rider – no green M&Ms), includes a backstage tour, dinner, a meet and greet with Lovato and Jonas, special photos and exclusive gear.  But if you want to see the actual concert, however, you’ll need to purchase separate tickets as they are not included.  And we wonder why the rest of the world hates us.

    HERE’S AN IDEA:  HOW ABOUT WE SAVE $9,990 AND JUST BURN A $10 BILL IN THE STREET?

    8:05:11 A.M. – “This is UNBELIEVABLE.”  We know that when the I-Man comes back from a commercial break, those words mean somebody’s day is about to be ruined.  He complains that Deirdre, who has yet to thank him for effectively providing her the freedom to do whatever she wants, is texting Lis on her cellphone instead of getting him some cereal.  You’d think that, her knowing that before she was born, the Boss was in a Rice Paddy, taking on Charlie…by playing the Bugle, (ESPECIALLY today, the U.S. Marines Birthday) she’d have a little gratitude.  But he seems to forget that his service to our country is what has provided Deirdre with the very freedom to refuse to wait on him.

    THE FEW, THE PROUD…THE STUPID.

    8:15:43 A.M. –  “Ben Carson is insane.”   The I-Man…really going out on a limb with a statement like that…

    NAH…HE’S COMPLETELY SANE

    8:40:43 A.M. –  After some more technical difficulties…Senator John McCain phones in to promote his book THIRTEEN SOLDIERS – A PERSONAL HISTORY OF AMERICANS AT WAR.   And, like the total professional he is, the decorated Naval Pilot opens with a joke:  “I tried to get into the Marine Corps…but my parents were married.”  Boom!  Thank you, you’re beautiful…don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

    “I DON’T WANT TO OFFEND YOU…BUT YOU’RE THE WORST CROWD I’VE EVER SEEN.  THIS IS THE MOST AWFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE…AND I WAS TORTURED IN A VIETNAMESE CONCENTRATION CAMP FOR 6 YEARS…”

    8:44:11 A.M. –  Senator McCain’s book profiles some of the greatest soldiers in history.  The I-Man asks the War Hero “Who was the greatest warrior ever?”  There is no hesitation whatsoever:  “Dwight David Eisenhower.”  He’s certainly the most courageous there ever was…staying married to Mamie for 52 years until he croaked.

    MAMIE EISENHOWER.  INVENTOR OF THE ‘PRINCESS LEIA’ HAIRDO

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Are you inspired by the I-Man’s Service in the U.S. Marines?

    Well then, this might be a career alternative for you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFOilBZvfeA

    Monday
    Nov092015

    Just Like Jesus

    6:05:00 A.M. – We’re having technical difficulties.  The I-Man is trying to phone in.  He finally gets through, and when Connell asks him if he had a good weekend…we lose the connection.  Right.  It’s another example of “This Phone Call is over.”

    “BITCH, DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?

    6:08:56 A.M. – Guess who’s back?  No, not Slim Shady.

    JUST LIKE JESUS

    6:20:44 A.M. – The I-Man says that he was ‘disappointed’ in Donald Trump’s performance on SNL this weekend, as opposed to everyone else who saw it, who just thought it sucked balls.

    WE ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE WAS PRETTY GOOD IN THE CONEHEAD SKETCH

    6:40:27 A.M. Bo Dietl says he’d like to stab Imus in the neck.  What he doesn’t know is, with the myriad, intricate folds of the flesh, the knife would get hurt more than the I-Man.

    SEE?  HE’S FINE.

    THE KNIFE?  NOT SO MUCH

    7:05:37 A.M. – Imus says that he believes Lis Wiehl is ‘Mildly Interested’ in Curtis Sliwa.  We guess she’s not afraid of breaking her hip.  Again.

    MS. WIEHL AND HER FUTURE EX-HUSBAND

    7:12:37 A.M. – There has been a shooting downstairs near Penn Station.  Imus says “We’ll get to the bottom of this…well…not we.”  Damn!  We had visions of Connell and the I-Man hitting the streets to solve the crime, ‘Starsky and Hutch’ style

    “LET’S GO FIND HUGGY BEAR AND SEE IF WE CAN GET SOME INFORMATION…”

    7:15:59 A.M. – The contentious exchange between George Will and Bill O’Reilly from ‘The Factor’ the other night is played, causing the I-Man to say that he holds a grudge against Mr. Will who is an ‘Awful human being.’  He just can’t recall what the grudge is about.  “If I’m gonna hold grudges I’ve got to start remembering why.”

    THE I-MAN’S FIRST GRUDGE, CIRCA 1973

    7:39:16 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS The panel discusses C.C. Sabathia, who, in their estimation, should have told the Yankees about his alcohol addiction. 

    SABATHIA REALLY ENJOYING THE 7TH INNING STRETCH

    7:40:16 A.M. – Who’s the Bigger Douche?  Jerry Jones?  Greg Hardy?  Or the Cowboys Fans?   We’re going to give it to The Dallas Cowboys as a whole.  Or hole, if you will.  Because that way, all the Douches are covered.

    ‘FRESH SCENT’?  SURE, THAT IS, IF YOU CONSIDER A SWEATY LOCKERROOM A ‘FRESH SCENT’

    8:05:11 A.M. – We learn that Rupert Murdoch is dating Mick Jagger’s ex, Jerry Hall, who, the I-Man says “Has got a lot of miles on her.”  We don’t want to say that that’s an understatement, but the girl DOES show up on several maps.

    YOU JUST KNOW THE DUDE ON THE RIGHT IS THINKING… ‘EWWWW.’

    8:40:43 A.M. – Alastair Campbell, Author of ‘Winning’…is ‘Losing’ today.  He asked to be on the program to promote his ‘Loser’ book, but has not phoned in.  Apparently, Mr. Campbell is a recovering alcoholic, so it’s clear the dude has fallen off the wagon.

    MR. CAMPBELL (ARTIST’S RENDERING)

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    In honor of the Rupert Murdoch, Jerry Hall Romance,

    We submit

    Our old friend Bill Maher

    With some ‘New Rules’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KQPc_iFTko

    Friday
    Nov062015

    We Need More Fries!

    6:05:00 A.M. – Imus – Free Friday, Bernie in the big chair…Shavin’ his head…lookin’ debonair!   Sorry.  We got a little inspired by Dr. Ben Carson’s new Old School Rap Radio Ad.

    BENNY BEN AND HIS POSSE

    6:08:56 A.M. – Connell reports that Dr. Ben Carson was on Megyn Kelly’s program, attempting to defend the ‘Hammer’ incident.  In which, we believe, as a teenager, he attacked his Moms…with said Hammer.

    DR. BEN CARSON.  AVENGER.

    6:12:24 A.M. – Connell reports that both Governors Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee will be bumped to the ‘Undercard Debate’, while George Pataki and Lindsey Graham have not made the cut at all.  Which is probably a good thing, because after Christie and Huckabee decimate the backstage buffet, there won’t be any snacks left for anybody else.

    “HEY!  HEY!  WE NEED MORE FRIES OVER HERE!

     C’MON, YOU’RE SLACKING OFF!”

    6:18:44 A.M. – The new James Bond Movie opens today, and we find ourselves wondering if Warner will be availing himself of some 007 this afternoon…in his handicapped seat with half his tuna sandwich.

    HE DOESN’T HAVE A LICENSE TO KILL, BUT HE DOES HAVE A LEARNER’S PERMIT

    6:40:27 A.M. James Bradley, author of Flags of Our Fathers is on, and speaks with Bernard about China, their thousands of years of history,  their Islands in the South China Sea, and the U.S. Freedom of Navigation versus Chinese Sovereignty.  Everything he says is not necessarily above our pay grade…but it’s definitely above our IQ rate.

    “CONFUCIOUS SAY… ‘MAN WHO SLEEP ON STOMACH HAVE CRACK UP.”

    7:15:37 A.M. – There is some unrest over at Fox News.  George Will and Bill O’Reilly are going at it.  They’re going to the mattresses over George’s dissing of the research Bill employed in writing his newest book in the “Killing Series”, KILLING REAGAN:  “It’s a tissue of unsubstantiated assertions.”   We can guess what the title of the next book will be.

    THE SCREENPLAY WILL BE ‘GOOD WILL KILLING’

    7:39:16 A.M. – One of our most favorite guests, Steve Schirripa, of ‘Sopranos’ fame, is on.  He just booked a recurring role on ‘Blue Bloods’ a CBS series starring Tom Selleck and Bridget Moynahan, who is Tom Brady’s ‘Baby Mama’.  Bernie asks if Steve will be doing any hot scenes with her in the show, and Mr. Schirripa replies that he has only had ONE romantic scene on camera, and asked his former Sopranos co-star Michael Impereoli for some advice.  “Make sure your breath doesn’t stink.”  So THAT’S why Gunz isn’t getting laid..

    UM…SORRY STEVE…NOT GONNA HAPPEN

    7:40:16 A.M. – Steve starts talking about the Knicks, he says he likes what he sees for this season, but when Warner Wolf disses Carmelo, Mr. Schirripa says “The last time Warner went to a game at the Garden, they were still using Peach Baskets.”

    AS WARNER SAID TO JAMES NAISMITH: “IF YOU DON’T HAVE A POTATO BASKET…CHANGE THE RULE…GET A PEACH BASKET!”

    8:40:43 A.M. – New York Post Pulitzer Prize winning columnist, Michael Goodwin is on, and weighs in on next week’s Republican Debate, he says that the whittling down of participants was inevitable.  He believes Christie is not a great Governor, but a good campaigner.  Oh yeah, Mr. Goodwin?   If he was such a good campaigner, he wouldn’t have been relegated to the ‘Undercard Debate’, would he?

    LIKE PLUTO, ANOTHER NEARLY PLANET SIZED ENTITY, GOVERNOR CHRISTIE HAS BEEN DEMOTED

    8:42:56 A.M. – Mr. Goodwin believes that these claims Dr. Ben Carson is making…well, there’s going to be some checking.  For instance, there will need to be some substantiation of the assertion that he attacked his Mother with a Hammer.  Was it a claw hammer?  A tack hammer?  A Ball Peen?  Given the fact that he’s released this Hip Hop Old School Rap Campaign Commercial, there is one Hammer we think it could have been:

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    In Honor of Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee

     Being Sent Back Down to the Minors

    Participating in the ‘J.V.’ Debate

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4WlkJXWzmE

    Thursday
    Nov052015

    Wanna See My Piggie?

    6:05:00 A.M. – The I-Man begins the program laughing, he is overwhelmed with paroxysms of joy over Destiny and Power:  The American Odyssey of George Herbert Walker Bush, the new Biography of  Bush 41 by the Weasel Author Jon Meacham.  Some of the quotes that have come out from the book have the former president dropping the hammer on members of his son’s administration.  Specifically, swipes at Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld over their reaction to the September 11th Attacks.  Poppy, apparently, thought Rumsfeld had a ‘Lack of humility’, and Cheney…this is great…he calls Dick Cheney ‘Iron Ass’.  It’s almost like…the I-Man wrote it.

    “HEY RUMSFELD…EAT ME, YOU SELF-CENTERED A**HOLE.  WHY DON’T YOU AND IRON ASS BOTH GO F*CK YOURSELVES?”

    6:08:56 A.M. – Speaking of books, the Boss announces that the formerly M.I.A. Bob Beckel, a program favorite, will be on the program to promote HIS new tome, I Should Be Dead.  Which, is yet another book the Boss could’ve easily written.

    6:15:44 A.M. –  Imus had a phone conversation with Chad Lopez, Vice President and Market Manager of WABC, to inquire about installing an intercom between the ranch and the studio, so he can chastise us in real time…  He has already nicknamed Mr. Lopez as ‘Trini’.    As in the guy who had a hit with ‘Lemon Tree’ 

    WE NEVER KNEW CHAD WAS SUCH A RENAISSANCE MAN

    6:37:27 A.M. The I-Man says that the “Funniest Sonofabitch he’s ever known is…his son Wyatt. ‘Well, not a ‘Son of a Bitch’… but screamingly funny nonetheless.

    “SO THEN…MY FATHER SAYS HE’S OUT OF BREATH, AND SO I GO, ‘OF COURSE YOU’RE OUT OF BREATH…YOU GET WINDED WHEN YOU DO LONG DIVISION!  THANK YOU, THANK YOU…I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK…TIP YOUR WAITRESSES!”

    6:40:08 A.M. – Colonel Jack Jacobs is on, and among the many topics discussed, the George H.W. Bush biography is brought up with the I-Man asking Colonel Jacobs what his take is on Donald Rumsfeld.  Let’s just say that the Colonel is not a fan, and sides with Poppy Bush in his assessment of Rumsfeld being a ‘douche nozzle’.  (Not his words, but…a fair representative of the Colonel’s feelings)  

    FYI, RUMSFELD.  THIS IS WHAT A HERO LOOKS LIKE

    (CENTERFOLD PHOTO COURTESY OF ‘MEDAL OF HONOR BOY’)

    7:05:10 A.M.  At the CMAs last night, Little Big Town’s ‘Girl Crush’ won ‘Single of the Year’ AND ‘Song of the Year’.  The I-Man called it, way back, when he was, literally, one of the only people who would actually play it on the radio.  For which we have always been grateful, as that song always makes us, as Carl Childers says ‘A mite Squirrelly in our britches’. 

    “MMMMMM…I RECKON I GOT ME A GIRL CRUSH…MMMMMM…GOT ME A BONER…SOME PEOPLE CALL IT AN ERECTION, I CALL IT A BONER….MMMM”

    7:15:30 A.M. – The Boss has speakers in the Rodeo Arena, but Wyatt won’t allow some of his father’s music choices.  No Lucinda Williams.  “It gets the horses bummed out.”

    “IF YOU DON’T TAKE ‘THAT’S THE WAY WE DO THINGS IN WEST MEMPHIS’ OUT OF THE CD PLAYER…I’M GONNA JUMP OFF THIS CHAIR.”

    7:39:16 A.M. PSYCHOS starts off more contentiously than usual, with the panel weighing in on the political action committee, ‘Deport Racism’ who targeted Donald Trump in a video showing foul-mouthed Latino kids bashing his immigration policies.  Deirdre is INCENSED at the exploitation of these children, who appear to be no older than 9 or 10, and, basically, address the candidate with “F*ck You, Racist d*ck!”  

    “NOSOTROS SOMOS UNIDOS!  BESAR LOS CULOS, MARICON!”

    7:40:16 A.M. – Alan Colmes doesn’t endear himself to Deirdre, as he maintains that Quentin Tarantino is right, and should not be vilified for expressing his opinions.  Even though she is 1700.3 miles away, somehow, she is able to neuter Mr. Colmes with just a few, well placed words. 

    “I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, ALAN…BOY, DO I EVER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.  BUT AT LEAST I CAN STILL LICK WHERE THEY USED TO BE.”

    7:44:16 A.M. – Curtis has been waiting ever since Sunday Night, when the Mets got bitch slapped by the Royals to lose the World Series.  A long time to wait to gloat…and Met fans Connell and Bernie and Lou have, pretty much, gotten over it by now.  But that doesn’t stop Curtis, who, we believe, is somewhat serious when he says he’s going after Dr. Bill Evans. 

    WE DON’T WANT TO START ANY TROUBLE, BUT WE FOUND THIS HANGING IN CURTIS’ OFFICE

    8:05:11 A.M. – Imus, we learn, is not a fan of Eric Bolling. “He’s the dumbest person on the planet.”  But that’s not the only reason.  We would articulate them, but we don’t have the space to include them all.  Suffice to say…Bolling won’t be invited out to The Ranch any time soon. Not that he’d be able to find it on a map…

    “WANNA SEE MY PIGGIE?  HUH?  SEE MY PIGGIE?  HIS NAME IS ARTHUR…”

    8:40:43 A.M. – Referring to last night’s CMA Awards, the I-Man is irritated by the way the artists are introduced…the announcers always scream their names… ‘Please welcome, with  25 Platinum selling records, 10 Time CMA Awards, a new album that’s blazing up the charts, one of the top 10  in Billboard’s ‘100 Greatest Musical Artists of all Time’, here they are… GAYRGHBNURWPLZCBN!!!!!!’

    “DO ME A FAVOR…SHAZAM OR SOUND HOUND THIS RECORD FOR ME, WILLYA?  I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE F#CK IT IS…”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Latino Kids Deport Racism Trump

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDW1R9OmOr0 

    Bonus!

    From Last Night’s CMAs

    Justin Timberlake / Chris Stapleton Drink You Away Duet

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEihJYAiwt4

    Wednesday
    Nov042015

    A Shot Of Fish Oil

    6:05:00 A.M. –  The Boss begins the program by informing us that the so-called Houston ‘Bathroom Bill’ was rejected by voters yesterday.  The LGBT Equal Rights Ordinance would have allowed transgender people to use toilets of their choosing.   So…word to the wise, Caitlyn Jenner.  When you’re in Houston, if you don’t want to go standing up, you better learn how to hold it.

    …BUT YOU HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH WOMEN IN MENS’ RESTROOMS, RIGHT?

     6:18:36 A.M. – The micro-organism responsible for the Chipotle E-Coli outbreak in the Pacific Northwest has been identified.  It’s amazing that scientists were able to discover the source of the food borne illness…as diarrhea seems to be a pretty common side effect after eating Mexican Food.

    NOW WE KNOW WHERE THE ‘AY YI YI YI’ COMES FROM IN ‘CIELITO LINDO’

    NOT A CHIPOTLE BURRITO.  BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU GO LIKE YOU ATE ONE

    6:40:27 A.M. K.T. McFarland is on and tells us that her daughter got engaged to a computer nerd.  K.T. doesn’t strike us as the kind of Mom who would be okay with anybody other than a NAVY SEAL marrying her daughter.  But…

    K.T.’S NEW SON IN LAW.  HE SAYS HE’S GOT A ‘REALLY BIG HARD DRIVE’

       SHE’S PRAYING THEY DON’T HAVE KIDS

    6:43:27 A.M. – Ms. McFarland and the I-Man discuss a wide range of topics including ISIS, the President sending 50 troops to Syria, and the Islands in China, onwhich, Imus asks if there are any Hotels.  Thinking of going on vacation, Boss?

    WOODY ISLAND, OFF THE COAST OF CHINA.  SITE OF ASIA DISNEYWORLD

    7:05:37 A.M. – Imus is creeped out by the Marley Drug Commercial, which offers Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra.  We, on the other hand, are VERY interested in FIFTY 20 mg tablets for 80 Dollars instead of 10 100 Milligram tablets for 300 Dollars.  We’re not that good at math, but we know a good cheap boner pill deal when we see it. 

    SHE’S HOPING THESE GENERIC VIAGRA DON’T WORK SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH GRANDPA’S DESSICATED WIENER

    7:32:16 A.M. – There’s a new movie coming out called ‘In the Heart of the Sea’, a true story that was the inspiration for Moby Dick.  The movie is based on a book  by Nathaniel Philbrick, an author who the I-Man actually remembers interviewing.  Of course, prior to speaking with Mr. Philbrick, the Boss was under the impression that Moby Dick was a venereal disease.

    A SHOT OF FISH OIL…CLEARS IT RIGHT UP

    AN EXAMPLE OF UNCIRCUMSIZED ‘MOBY DICK’

    7:39:16 A.M. BLONDE ON BLONDE or, as we like to call it, BLEACH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE CHICK.   The I-Man asks the ladies whether or not they think the Jimmy Kimmel bit in which parents punk their children by telling them they ate all their Halloween Candy.     Deirdre thinks it’s a scream, Lis, not so much. Ms. Wiehl experienced her own child being punked a couple years ago when she and her daughter ‘Doug’ visited the Imus Ranch. Deidre told young ‘Doug’ that if she ate all her vegetables, she could have Birthday Cake.  The Little Wiehl forced the veggies down.  PSYCHE!   There IS no birthday cake!  Oh, snap!  Who’s the Boss, Doug?  Say it! 

    WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY THOUGHT WAS A CRYPTIC MESSAGE, SCRAWLED ON A WALL IN THE HAY BAR AT THE IMUS RANCH…IS ACTUALLY A WARNING

    7:40:16 A.M. – The segment continues with the conundrum of whether or not it’s a good idea to teach children how to administer a heroin overdose shot.  Not the heroin itself, that is, but Naloxone Hydrochloride, an antidote for the opiate.   Just the notion that this concept exists is enough to put Deirdre over the edge, causing her to question the future of humanity.  But, when you get to thinking about it, if the kids are old enough to shoot smack, they should be old enough to use an Epi Pen with Naloxone.

    “ARE YOU CHASING THE DRAGON, MOMMY?  DID YOU CATCH HIM?”

    7:44:16 A.M. – Instead of a drug to stave off an overdose, Deirdre believes that more time, effort and money should be put into prevention.  She makes the analogy that it’s like trying to save a baby AFTER it falls off the cliff.  Good point.  We don’t want to get killed by a falling baby.  Which makes us wonder if you drop a baby and a penny off the Empire State Building, which one hits the ground first?

     

    DUCK!  BABY!

    8:17:34  A.M. –  The I-Man has hired someone out at the Ranch by the name of Nicole, who will be the Texas version of Ali in New York.  He tells a hilarious story about a phone call he made to Nicole to inform her that she had the job, but says that he made it sound like he was letting her down easy for not being hired.  Well…it wasn’t quite hilarious.  It was more…humorous. A humorous story.  Well,   maybe ‘humorous’ isn’t the right word…it was…a story.  Yes.  Absolutely.  A story.

    SISTER MARY MENGELE HAS MADE SIMILAR PHONE CALLS TO SOME OF THE NOVICES IN HER CONVENT:  “I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR COMING IN AND TAKING YOUR SOLEMN VOWS…THERE WERE A LOT OF QUALIFIED CANDIDATES, BUT…YOU’RE THE ONE WHO GOT THE GIG.  PSYCHE!  BOOYAH!”

    8:19:43 A.M. – Imus can’t remember who is sponsoring Warner’s Sports report, Peerless Boilers…or Hackensack University Medical Center.  So he advises his listening audience to “Get the boiler and then go to the hospital.”

    “WE HAVE A PEERLESS PURE FIRE BOILER IN THE OPERATING ROOM…IT KEEPS OUR PATIENTS NICE AND TOASTY WARM…”

    8:39:33 A.M. – Staff Sergeant Travis Mills, a wounded veteran, 82nd Airborne, and a quadruple amputee, is on to promote his book TOUGH AS THEY COME .  It’s one of the all time great interviews, after which, the I-Man, audibly moved by Sergeant Mills’ story, says “I’ve talked to people for 40 Years, and I’ve never talked to anyone as inspirational as you.”  It’s one of the few times we can remember where everybody on the program agrees with the Boss.

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    TWO AMUSING TAKES ON ‘MOBY DICK’

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=FUNNY+MOBY+DICK&FORM=HDRSC3#view=detail&mid=219C8E5093B23810A5E5219C8E5093B23810A5E5

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=bad+grandpa+moby+dick+scene&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=bad+grandpa+moby+dick+scene&sc=0-20&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&mid=A928386CE1C889B14385A928386CE1C889B14385