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Deirdre's Corner

Don't forget to catch Deirdre on Blonde on Blonde, Wednesdays at 7:35am and Psychos, Thursday at 7:35am on Imus in the Morning! 
 

 

Let's Give 'Em Something to Buzz About: By Deirdre Imus, 8-23-2016 - There’s been a lot of buzz lately about honeybees, those quasi-nuisances that can send even the most stoic among us into a tailspin trying to avoid an encounter. And while a bee sting is undesirable, the pain you’ll feel then is nothing compared to the pain we’ll all feel – and soon – if we don’t do something to protect these sometimes petrifying pollinators. 

 Celebrating 15 Years Protecting Children's Health & the Environment

 The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center®  - When you are among the first voices to speak out on an issue, it’s difficult to know if anyone is listening. When I founded The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® at Hackensack University Medical Center fifteen years ago, concern about our children's health being impacted by toxic exposures in the environment was not the hot button, trendy issue it is today.  Read more...

 

Deirdre's Dish Pick

 

Frances' Vegetable "Fried" Rice - Recipe by Deirdre Imus, The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.  I recommend using all organic non GMO ingredients. Brown rice takes its name from the outer bran coating that is left intact rather than removed in milling, as it is in white rice.  Because of this, it is higher in fiber, vitamin B, and important minerals than white rice is.  It also takes a while longer to cook, but the delicious nutty flavor, as well as the additional nutritional value, make it worth the time.  The edamame in this dish also provides a good source of protein.

If you have a fond memory from your childhood about some of the dishes we post please click here to contact us, we would love to hear your story.

If you have a Healthy Recipe that you enjoy and would like to see others indulge in, please share it with us: Deirdre.Imus@hackensackmeridian.org - You may have your recipe posted live on my Recipe Page! 

Deirdre's Book Pick Of The Week

 

Anti-Inflammatory Eating Made Easy - by Dr. Oz, Michael Pollan, and Mark Bittman - With Anti-Inflammatory Eating Made Easy, eat as much as you want, lose weight, and heal your body. More and more people have become aware of the many benefits of an anti-inflammatory diet. Seattle nutritionist Michelle Babb has created an easy-to-follow nutrition plan and cookbook that helps readers combat inflammation with healthy recipes and food choices. Making dramatic lifestyle changes can be difficult, but the seventy-five recipes and nutrition plan in this book make that change approachable, understandable, sustainable, and delicious. Adopting an anti-inflammatory diet can help alleviate arthritis, type 2 diabetes, food allergies, skin conditions, weight gain, and many other symptoms of chronic inflammation.


    Support The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center

The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® is devoted to the health and well-being of children, their parents and the general public. Donations to the Environmental Health Center will support research on children's environmental health.

 

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Inside Imus Control Center
The Imus Ranch Foundation

With the closing of The Imus Ranch For Kids with Cancer, The Imus Ranch Foundation was formed to donate 100% of all donations previously devoted to The Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer to various other charities whose work and missions compliment those of the ranch. The initial donation from The Imus Ranch Foundation was awarded to Tackle Kids Cancer, a program of The HackensackUMC Foundation and the New York Giants.  In addition, once the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer is sold, 100% of those funds will be contributed to The Imus Ranch Foundation.

Warner's Sports Corner

Ryan Lochte charged by Brazil police - Swimmer Ryan Lochte was charged by Brazilian police with filing a false robbery report over an incident during the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.

Tony Romo exits early after hit from behind - Tony Romo was only planning to play two series in Seattle on Thursday night. He only lasted three plays. Romo left the game after taking a hit from behind by defensive end Cliff Avril.

Patriots to acquire LB Barkevious Mingo from Browns - Browns linebacker Barkevious Mingo tackles Falcons running back Cyrus Gray during a preseason game this month.

Patrick Reed Shares Early Lead at Barclays - Patrick Reed kicks off the season-ending FedEx Cup playoff series with a first-round 66 in The Barclays at Bethpage.

Recent Guests:
    Monday
    Mar072016

    Farewell Peyton Manning

    6:05:00 A.M. – Imus grills Rob about the attendance at his Concert Date the other night in Tarrytown. Rob admits it wasn’t a sell-out, that there was an open row, and there were 12 or 15 seats in the row…and when pressed to say how many were actually there, Rob says “793”.  The answer is immediate.  The I-Man says that he likes immediate answers, whether they’re correct or not.  Good thing.  Because there was actually only 789.

    UM…LOOKS LIKE THERE’S AN EMPTY SEAT ON THE SIDE THERE, ROW ‘P’

    6:15:30 A.M. – The Boss takes Bernie to task for this weekend’s stunning UFC upsets.  Both Champions, Conor McGregor AND Holly Holm, (Bernard’s ‘UFC’ Ultimate Fighting Crush) GOT Crushed.  In fact, Ms. Holm’s windpipe was literally crushed, choked Out by Miesha Tate in the Fifth Round.  By falling unconscious, Holly also put to sleep her Big Bucks rematch with Ronda Rousey. 

    ALTHOUGH THIS MADE BERNARD SAD, IT IS NOW THE PREMIERE IMAGE IN HIS ‘SPANK BUBBLE’

    6:20:46 A.M. – I-Fave Doug Brinkley, who edited the Bestseller, the Reagan Diaries, has some eloquent words on the passing of Nancy Reagan.  The I-Man is a HUGE fan of Mr. Brinkley, noting that the Historian, who is a history professor at Rice University, is treated like Elvis when he walks around the campus.

    PROFESSOR BRINKLEY’S GOT A HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN’ LOVE

    6:40:27 A.M. Liz MacDonald from Fox Business and Fox News is the guest, and reveals that she supports Kasich.  So she’s the one.  She observes that the Debates are turning into The Jerry Springer Show.  We think it’s more like the ‘Maury Povich’ Debates.  “Donald Trump…you ARE the father!”  (He has three baby mamas).  She is writing a book about all the ‘Great Forgotten Fires of New York City’.  We can’t wait for that one.  So we can peruse the center section with all the photos of the Burn Victims.  Not exactly a ‘Summer Beach Read’, although it might remind you to use sunscreen.

    “OF COURSE, I’M THE FATHER…I’M A GREAT FATHER.  MY POLL NUMBERS SHOW THAT I’M THE FATHER OF THE YEAR…”

    7:05:10 A.M. – The Boss admits that he was ‘sucked in’ by his boys from ‘The Voice’: Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Pharrell, and Christina Aguilera.  She’s not a man, of course…but we believe she’s had sex with an awful lot of them.

    NO, I-MAN.  YOU MISINTERPRETED.  THEY DON’T WANT YOU, THEY WANT…OH FORGET IT

    7:17:34 A.M. – Imus accuses Warner of raining on Peyton Manning’s parade, because, as he retires today, Warner was bold enough to suggest that it was because Denver Broncos weren’t going to pay him for another year.  Instead of celebrating one of the greatest players in the history of football, Warner is slinging mud, bringing up the unfortunate allegations of his attempted Teabag of the female trainer at the University of Tennessee. 

    IN PEYTON’S DEFENSE, IT WAS FOUR O’CLOCK.  TEATIME.

    7:25:50 A.M. – The I-Man surmises that, despite Trump’s assertion that he’s packing some serious junk in his trousers, given the fact that he’s almost 70 years old, when he makes love to his wife Melania,  “He has to stand her on her head and drop it in.”

    “OH DOOOOONALD…I’M READY….”

    7:39:16 A.M. PSYCHOS – Starring Bo Dietl, Sid Rosenberg, Tony Powell, and, Deirdre Imus as “The Crazy Woman”.  Bo leads off, screaming about 22 Billion Dollars given to Anchor Babies on Welfare, taking the money away from Senior Citizens.  As Bo could now be considered a ‘Senior Citizen’, he has a dog in this race: His ‘Financialization Deprivation Situation.’ 

    COLOMBIAN SOFIA VERGARA…THE REASON WHY BO IS GOING TO HAVE TO EAT RAMEN NOODLES FOR THE REST OF HIS DAYS

    Deirdre still angry over what looks like what will be the two choices in November. “The two most disgusting people on the planet.”  She hates the Donald, saying he would be the worst thing for this country…besides Hillary, who would be…the worst thing for this country.  She can’t believe that Trump brought up the subject of his ‘Dick’ on the debate the other night.  She didn’t seem all that surprised that Hillary didn’t bring up HERS on the Democratic Debate last night.

    HILLARY AND HER 73 INCH DICK

    Sid accuses Connell of stealing his headphone jack, calls Conor McGregor a ‘Pussy’, Peyton Manning “The White Kobe Bryant”, and had some words for Nancy Reagan.  He says that if her anti-drug ‘Just say No’ campaign worked, his wife would be a National Hero.

    NANCY REAGAN WAS VERY INSTRUMENTAL IN SID’S RECOVERY

    And Tony is bewildered by the White Supremacists that flock to Trump Rallies, supporting him because he will help fight against the oppression of White People.  Tony says that, due to his MyPillow, he must’ve slept through the Revolution, because he doesn’t remember when Black People where in charge of ‘Holding the White Man down.’   Well, Tony, it’s not that you were sleeping…it’s just that, as Gil Scott Heron warned you, the Revolution was NOT televised.

    8:05:11 A.M. – Imus implies that, his believing that Peyton Manning would’ve had another job offer, Warner is suggesting he’s naïve and a moron.  Not true, I-Man.  Warner doesn’t think you’re naïve.

    A NEW PUB WARNER HAS INVESTED IN

    8:15:40 A.M. – Warner says that over the weekend, he and his wife Sue went to the Piano Bar at the Carlyle to see Chris Gillespie play.  They requested him to do ‘Rhapsody in Blue’ when they were there, and when Imus asks if he tips Mr. Gillespie, Warner says he gave the man 20 dollars.  But he doesn’t have a tip jar, so you have to put the money in his hand, which is a slightly difficult task to navigate, as he’s using his hands to play the damn piano.

    YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE CASH ON THE TOP OF PIANO LID…LIKE YOU DO ON THE TOP OF THE DRESSER WHEN YOU’RE DONE WITH THE HOOKER AT THE CATHOUSE

    8:22:44A.M. – Imus accuses Bernie of covering up for Conor McGregor’s loss like he covers up for the  Altar Boy Enthusiast Priests.    He also is trying to gloss over the Trump Rally where the crowd all raised their right hands…

    DONALD UBER ALLES: ‘HEIL TRUMP!’

    A GUEST SPEAKER AT THE RALLY ENDORSES DER DONALD

    8:28:36 A.M. – After informing the I-Man that former Trump Baby Mama, Marla Maples, will be on ‘Dancing With The Stars’, he adds that, joining her will be Geraldo Rivera.  Which leads Imus to wonder “What would he say ‘No’ to?”

    APPARENTLY, THEY’RE USING THE WORD ‘STAR’ VERY LOOSELY

    8:40:43 A.M. – I-Fan and Imus described Radio Superstar, ‘The Great One’, Mark Levin is on.   The Boss is justly effusive with his praise of the Levin, but not nearly as vociferously gushing as Mark is of The I-Man.  He sucks up to Imus worse than Rob hocking for a plug for one of his hideous personal appearances.  It’s damn near nauseating.   

    LEVIN…HE DOESN’T THINK HE COULD EVEN SHINE THE I-MAN’S SHOES.  OBVIOUSLY, HE’S WRONG ABOUT THAT.

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Despite Warner’s Negativity

    A Celebration of the Career of

    Peyton Manning 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlLEReokX14

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo4-hc1bp30

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/1603

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQDMEt0j1Wc

    Friday
    Mar042016

    Is Anybody There?

    6:05:00 A.M. – Connell in the big chair, and by chair, we don’t mean the kind Stephen Hawking sits in.  Everyone is excited about the upcoming Conor McGregor UFC fight tomorrow night…which makes us think of a ‘Dream Match’ 

    BRAWN VS. BRAIN – THE MCGREGOR / HAWKING FIGHT.

    6:15:30 A.M. – Mr. McShane polls the staff, asking them if they thought the debate last night was ‘Funny’ or ‘Sad’.  Was the contentious frivolity and a veiled discussion about penis size…amusing?  Or depressing?  Lou, Gunz and Bernie fall on the ‘Funny’ side of the ledger, while Connell and Tony, who are no fun, maintain that grown men, discussing how big their Johnsons are in a public forum, all of whom are all trying to be President of the United States, is a melancholy state of affairs.  There hasn’t been this much ‘Dick’ at a debate, since Nixon took on JFK.

    “MINE IS…FOUR INCHES!”  

    THANKS, THAT CERTAINLY IS A LITTLE ‘TRICKY’, DICK.

    6:40:27 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS revisits the Conor McGregor and Holly Holm UFC Twin Bill.  The boys come to a consensus that McGregor will easily defeat Nate Diaz…and Holly Holm will certainly retain her belt against Miesha Tate, AND after the bouts, both Mr. Diaz and Ms. Tate will wander aimlessly around the arena, looking for the phone that, apparently, won’t stop ringing.

    “HELLO?  HELLO?  IS ANYBODY THERE?   HELLOOOOO!”

    The boys then discuss Knicks Star Player Carmelo Anthony’s admission that Team Owner James Dolan made Carmelo issue an official apology through the team’s PR department, for Mr. Anthony’s lashing out at a disgusted fan who was heckling him.  Mr. Anthony suggested that the gentleman go ask Mr. Dolan for his money back.  Warner says, “You should never insult the fans.” If anybody should apologize, it’s James Dolan.  For putting that miserable excuse for a team out on the court.

    CARMELO ADDRESSES ONE OF THE TEAM’S BIGGEST FANS

    7:05:10 A.M. – Last night’s Debate continues to be the topic of discussion on today’s program, and, special attention is given to the front page of today’s Huffington Post, which headline reads:  ‘Cock Fight’.  Senator Lindsey Graham, who is in the studio with us this morning…starts to swoon, clutches his pearls…and passes out. 

    SENATOR GRAHAM TRIES TO STEAL A ‘PEEK’

    7:17:34 A.M. – Trump’s condescending assessment of Florida Senator Rubio’s stature is brought up.  “Little Marco”, as Donald refers to him.  We take exception to that characterization.  Ted Cruz, is actually the Little One.

    SENATOR CRUZ RELAXES IN HIS JACUZZI AFTER THE DEBATE

    MR. TRUMP…AND HIS FRIEND, ‘LITTLE MARCO’

    7:21:42 A.M. – Warner tells us that today is the 45th Anniversary of the ‘Fight of the Century’, Ali / Frazier.  Warner remembers the FIRST fight of the Century.  David / Goliath, which was in the 2nd Century…B.C.

    AND…WARNER WAS THERE

    7:39:16 A.M. – Fox News Chief Washington Correspondent, James Rosen is the guest, last seen at the Redneck Country Club with Connell.  Which is not the ideal place for a man with the surname of ‘Rosen’. 

    WE’RE NOT SURE JIM BOB WILL BE RESCHEDULING

    7:42:16 A.M. – Mr. Rosen goes on to say that he thought it was a ‘Funny or Die’ moment, when Trump made his Dick Joke, but he was still surprised.  We’re not, because any man who puts his giant name on his giant towers, has clearly got an issue.

    NO, THIS ISN’T PHALLIC.

    8:15:11 A.M. – Warner takes exception to what, he believes, was a staged fight at the Conor McGregor, Nate Diaz pre-fight Press Conference. 

    IN THIS PRODUCTION STILL, YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE A SCRIPT

    8:40:43 A.M. – Charlie Gasparino is supposed to be the guest, however, he’s AWOL, ‘Missing in Action’.  We hope he’s okay, and hasn’t been detained by Airport Security, where he’s getting a cavity search because his fanny pack looked suspicious.

    “IT’S NOT A FANNY PACK.  IT’S A HOLSTER FOR MY PENIS.  DONALD TRUMP ISN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO’S PACKING…”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Be Careful When You Google      

    ‘Cockfight’ 

    You’ll Have to Click Through a Lot of Disturbing Images Before You Finally Find This:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4WGQmWcrbs

    Wednesday
    Mar022016

    Yours Truly

    6:09:18 A.M. – Imus tells us that he couldn’t vote yesterday, because he hadn’t registered, even though he was told by Nicole, the Texan who works in the Ranch Office, that he only needed a driver’s license.  Nicole is confused.  You only need a driver’s license to buy beer at 7-11.  It didn’t matter because “Creepy Cruz won anyway.”  We know the REAL reason he couldn’t vote.  He doesn’t look ANYTHING like his driver’s license photo.

    WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. IT’S OBVIOUS IT’S THE SAME MAN

    6:08:16 A.M. – “The debate tomorrow is on Fox with Megyn Kelly and Brett Favre’” ...wait.  What?  Oh.  Brett Baier.

    “BRETT FAVRE HERE WITH YOURS TRULY, AND I PLAN ON BEATING ON TRUMP LIKE A RED-HEADED MULE”

    6:40:27 A.M. Congressman Peter King is on, continuing his denouncement of Donald Trump.  He says “I don’t know what Donald Trump stands for, other than saying that he’s a tough guy.”  Rep. King has already weighed in on Trump as ‘Tough’, but says he will support the nominee of the party, although he will have a hard time saying ‘President Trump’.

    PETER KING BETTER GET USED TO SAYING…‘PRESIDENT TRUMP’

    7:05:10 A.M. – Imus, again, mentions how he looks like he crawled out of the Uni-Bomber’s cabin.  We’ve seen the selfie he took, and we think it would actually offend the Uni-Bomber.

    “HEY!  STUPID!  LET ME GO!   I HAVEN’T FINISHED WRITING MY F#CKING MANIFESTO!”

    7:17:34 A.M. – Like a middle school boy with Tourette’s, the I-Man can’t seem to stop himself from saying ‘Erection’ instead of ‘Election’.  This syndrome has been going on for years…he’s been making that little ‘joke’ ever since the Teddy Roosevelt ‘Erection’. 

    “HEY, PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT.  IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN BY ‘WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK?’

    7:22:44 A.M. – Out of seemingly nowhere, the I-Man needs to know at what time of day Bubba got the ‘Love Ick’ on the Blue Dress.  We’re not sure why he needs this information, other than to satisfy his morbid curiosity about whether or not Monica had to walk around the White House with a Rorschach Test on her frock. We guess it happened around dusk, because the shadows cast by the setting sun must’ve hidden Bubba’s Baby Batter.  It wasn’t until Monica went home, when she noticed the dress could stand up in a corner on its’ own, that she discovered the stain. 

    PRESIDENT CLINTON THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE BREAST POCKET EMBLEM CRESTS

    THE CLINTON FAMILY CREST

     THE MOTTO, TRANSLATED FROM THE LATIN, MEANS ‘CHOKE THE CHICKEN’

    7:39:16 A.M. BLONDE ON BLONDE starring Deirdre Imus, and now, Alan Colmes, so the name of the segment should be renamed BLONDE ON BROWNISH RED DYE.  We begin with the I-Man charging Mr. Colmes with making a case to vote for Trump.  Alan responds that, if he wanted a shape shifter, a complete liar, and accept the fact the he’s just saying whatever is necessary to win the election, then he COULD vote for The Donald.  Similarly, Deirdre is asked to make a case for Hillary Clinton, which causes her to morph into the nuclear reactor at Fukishima, starting hot, getting hotter, and then going into complete meltdown.  She virtually begins speaking in tongues, railing about Government Schools, Free Abortions, and a ‘Pantsuit for everyone’.  Which makes us wonder why Riedel isn’t voting for Hillary.  That boy do look fetching in a pantsuit.

    “BLUE IS DEFINITELY MY COLOR, BECAUSE…I’M A ‘SUMMER’ ”

    8:05:11 A.M. – We would be remiss if we did not wish Fred Imus’ son Donnie a ‘Happy Birthday’.  Donnie has been the Head Ranch Hand at the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer since its inception.  He’s a good ol’ Cowboy.

    DONNIE DOESN’T ROPE CALVES…HE JUST RUNS UP BEHIND THEM, TACKLES THEM, PICKS THEM UP, AND CARRIES THEM BACK TO THE CHUTE

    8:09:18 A.M. – The Boss has some ‘Tough Love’ advice for Megyn Kelly, which is “She has to stop calling herself ‘Yours Truly’.”   Although, he does not offer an alternative. We’re thinking ‘Truly Yours’, ‘Sincerely’, or ‘With Regards.’  Besides…somebody has already claimed the ‘Yours Truly’.

    LOOKS TO US LIKE ARIANA MAY HAVE A COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT CASE AGAINST MEGYN

    8:20:40 A.M. – During Warner’s Sports Report on the NBA, the I-Man takes a trip down memory lane, getting nostalgic for Michael Jordan’s Bulls Team of the ‘90’s.  He admits he liked all the guys on those teams.   “They were my little basketball friends.”   Sounds like a Saturday Morning Kid’s Show.  ‘Little Basketball Friends’. 

    THE I-MAN AND HIS ‘LITTLE BASKETBALL FRIENDS’

    8:40:43 A.M. – Senator John McCain, War Hero, I-Fave and a TRULY GREAT MAN, phones in to provide his thoughts on the state of the Presidential Campaign Process.  People said to him that had he brought up the ‘Birther’ issue when he ran against Barack Obama eight years ago, he would’ve won. “But what would I have won”, he says, simultaneously posing both a Rhetorical and Existential Question.  He observes the two leading candidates, Hillary and Trump, both have the lowest level of Trust.  Although he’s not a Trump fan, he too, says that he will support the nominee of the party.  Imus then postulates that had Senator McCain had only done a couple of Dick Jokes at Barack’s expense, as Rubio has with Trump, he may have been president today.   We know that the Senator has way too much class and pride to stoop that low.  But it would’ve been fun if he HAD gotten off a few zingers. 

    “SO…OBAMA’S DICK BE LIKE…THIS BIG…”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Ladies and Gentlemen,

    The Forty Fifth President

    Of The United States

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NsrwH9I9vE 

    (We suspect that many of today’s guests would rather vote for Vince McMahon)

    Monday
    Feb292016

    Happy Leap Day!

    6:05:00 A.M. – It’s Leap Day, which is a confusing concept to the I-Man.  He believes that people who are born on this day only have a birthday every four years, so, effectively, a forty year old man would only be ten years old.  By that formula…had Imus had been born on February 29th he’d be…sixty.  You do the math. 

    THE I-MAN IN THE ALTERNATE ‘LEAP YEAR’ UNIVERSE

    6:07:14 A.M. – Imus remarks that Marco Rubio has gotten funny all of a sudden.  As funny, in his estimation, as Chris Rock.

    SURPRISINGLY, RUBIO’S MATERIAL IS A LITTLE EDGIER THAN ROCK’S

    6:15:30 A.M. – Imus grills Bernard about the subject matter of last night’s Best Picture Winner, ‘Spotlight’.  Of course, it’s about Kid Toucher Priests and the Boston Diocese’s cover up of the scandal, SO Bernard gets defensive, citing the recent sentencing of a Kid Touching Rabbi, who only got a 60 day Jail sentence… not that you’d know about it, as it was buried in the papers.  Bernie claims bias, because, if it was a Catholic Priest, it would be on the front page. 

    BERNARD, IN HIS CAMEO APPEARANCE IN ‘SPOTLIGHT’.  HE PLAYED A ‘PLAINCLOTHES’ PRIEST WHO ‘BEFRIENDS’ MARK RUFFALO

    6:17:46 A.M. – Connell is going to Texas where he will be broadcasting for Fox from ‘The Redneck Country Club.’   Where, we’re sure, he will fit right in.

    MCSHANE TEARING IT UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR TO THE ONE OF HIS FAVORITE TUNES:  ‘BOOT SCOOT BOOGIE’

    7:05:27 A.M. – Josh, one of the ranch hands out there in Texas, has informed the Boss that he will have to leave a little early this morning, as he has a ‘Wellness Exam’.  Apparently, they’re going to take blood…the procurement of which, Imus offers to help expedite, by stabbing Josh in the neck. 

    UNFORTUNATELY, THE BOSS MISSED HIS TARGET…AND WOUND UP STABBING JOSH IN THE HEAD INSTEAD. 

    7:15:11 A.M. - The Boss mentions that another of the ranch hands, the famous ‘T-Money’, is a fan of ‘Gas Station Chicken’.  We maintain that the man who will eat ‘Gas Station Chicken’ will, pretty much, eat anything.  Even Gas Station Sushi.

    DODGE’S GAS STATION CHICKEN HAS 11 HERBS AND SPICES, ONE OF WHICH IS 10w40

    7:39:16 A.M. PSYCHOS I or, as we like to call it, CAN SOMEBODY SMACK RIEDEL IN THE HEAD WITH A FOLDING CHAIR? The panel is pretty worked up, Rob torqued off about the Oscars being used as a platform for people to promote their political agendas, which Deirdre took a step further, mentioning the empty, vapid - headed people who are guilty of that very practice.   Riedel is upset with Chris Christie for ‘selling out’  by endorsing Trump, and Tony has harsh words about people who are afraid of terrorism, citing the statistic that more people have died at the hands of armed toddlers than that of terrorists.

    “WHAT PART ABOUT ‘I’M NOT DOING MY HOMEWORK’ DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, PUNK?”

    8:05:11 A.M. – Tony is the lone voice on the staff who wasn’t effusive with praise for Chris Rock’s performance.  He complains that Rock was ‘okay’, but took exception to some of the crass material, like the comment about ‘Rihanna’s Panties’  which causes the I-Man to wonder aloud if said panties were clean.  Tony says that the girl’s a performer who sweats…so they might be a little ‘funky’.   The I-Man is saddened, thinking that the girl got her some ‘Cheesy Drawers’. 

    IF THOSE ARE ‘CHEESEY PANTIES’, THEN PASS US A CRACKER, BECAUSE ‘EVERYTHING TASTES GOOD WHEN IT SITS ON A RITZ.’

    8:20:40 A.M. – Tommy Morrison, the Ranch Contractor, phones the I-Man, who answers the call on the air, to ask if it’s okay if the ‘Dozer’ guy comes in to continue working.   The Boss asks Tommy if he’s aware that he is on the air every morning.  Tommy thought he was already done.  No, he’s not, Tommy.  But you will be if you keep calling him when he’s on the air.

    IF YOU WANT A RODEO ARENA BUILT, GIVE OL’ TOMMY A CALL…JUST DON’T DO IT WHILE HE’S TALKING TO IMUS ON THE AIR

    8:40:43 A.M. –  Former NAVY SEAL and I-Fave, Leif Babin is here in studio, and he wasn’t happy about watching the Oscars last night, but was forced to, as his wife, the lovely Jenna Lee of Fox, has control of the TV remote.   He’s not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio, OR Hillary Clinton, so we know he didn’t vote for Leo for ‘Best Actor’, and will vote for WHOEVER runs against Hillary.  If he can survive the next four weeks of Jenna’s pregnancy, that is.   Leif maintains that Ms. Lee is at the point where she’s ready to elbow him in the face and accuse “YOU DID THIS TO ME!”  Even his SEAL Training didn’t prepare him for this.

    THIS IS NOT A WOMAN WHO YOU WANT TO IRRITATE…IN ANY WAY

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Chris Rock

    Bringing the Pain Last Night at the Oscars

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBadiCVY-tk

    Friday
    Feb262016

    Please Be Gentle

    6:07:00 A.M. – As is his custom the I-Man is off this Friday. Connell is once again in the big chair this morning. In honor of the occasion McShane shaved his bea.. his… um… whisker. Just the one. Connell has named his lone whisker Willie. Willie the Whisker. We’ll see you in a month Willie when you grow back.

    Connell and “Willie”

    6:13:07 A.M. – During his reporting on last night’s debate, Connell drops a Goodfellas reference regarding Donald Trump. He likens the Donald referring to his rivals as, “this guy the choke artist, and this guy the liar” while standing between Rubio, and Cruz, to the Joe Pesci character (Tommy DeSimone) referencing the painting of the two dogs in the scene where they’re having dinner at Tommy’s moms house.

    TOMMY: I like this one. One dog goes one way and the other goes the other.

     MOTHER: One's going east, the other’s going west. So what?

     TOMMY: And this guy's saying, "Whaddya want from me?" The guy's got a nice head of white hair. Beautiful. The dog it looks the same.

     JIMMY: Looks like somebody we know.

     TOMMY: Without the beard! Oh no, it's him! It's him.

    We recognize that only Bo Dietl and a few of you will recognize the reference, but we see what you did McShane. We see you.

    Rubio and Cruz. The Two Mutts In The GOP Presidential Race (Artist Rendering)

    6:17:27 A.M. – Warner reports that during the Honda Classic in Palm Beach golfer Sergio Garcia took a shot from inside one of the water hazards. Apparently there was an alligator in the water with Sergio. Warner notes that it’s the caddy’s job to look out for alligators. Perhaps the caddy was looking at the wrong gators. In Florida  a birdie is one shot under par, an eagle is two shots under par, and a Gator is a student at the University. 

    Sergio’s Caddy Should’ve Been On the Look Out For This Gator

    Instead of These Gators

    6:42:54 A.M – Vinnie From Queens starring Warner Wolf, Connell McShane, Lou Rufino, Gunz Gunzleman Bernard McGuirk, Tony Powell, begins. The guys discuss issues ranging from the University of Tennessee, and their a-hole football coach, to whether or not Peyton Manning trying to tea bag a female athletic trainer will affect his future job prospects. Well old light bulb head may not get a chance to do a pre-game show anytime soon, but if he’s willing to dress up like Toy Story’s  Sheriff Woody and shake his money maker down at Magic Mikes the sky is the limit. 

    Ladies Put Your Hands Together. Chippendales is proud to present The Sheriff

    “Omaha, Omaha!!”

    7:10:43 A.M. – Warner promos a clip featuring Arizona head basketball coach Sean Miller’s angry tirade about the dangers of allowing students to storm the court following a basketball game. We almost all agree that it’s a dangerous thing to do.  What moron could disagree you ask? Our own village idiot Gunz who suggests that it’s fun. He maintains that in football they do it better because the security guards surround the “end rights” to protect them from the kids. The what Gunz? “The end rights”??? Are you referring to the goal posts, or the uprights? “Yea those”. Gunz, ladies and gentlemen is why you should worry about kids storming the court. They get trampled and kicked in the head. 

    Don’t Be A Victim of Court Storming

    7:16:33 A.M. – We play a clip of upcoming guest Donald Trump Jr. defending his dad’s statement about wanting to punch someone in the face. Jr. says that, “there’s something special about being able to punch someone in the face.” We couldn’t agree more. There are definitely some people we’d like to give a little “special” something to.

    Oh Boys, We’ve Got a “Special” Surprise For You

    7:20:53 A.M. – Warner gives his Oscar picks. He thinks Spotlight, the film about the Boston Globe’s investigation of misconduct by Boston’s Catholic Church, will win the Best Picture award. Bernie and Connell accuse The Wolfman of Catholic bashing. Tony is upset that Warner doesn’t think any of the Black nominees have a chance. Oh ..wait a minute… never mind. Speaking of Black actors Warner predicts Sly Stallone will win Best Supporting Actor for Creed. Good job Hollywood. Motherf*#king Rocky gets an Oscar nod in a movie about Apollo Creed’s son.

    So Let Me Get This Straight Bruh. The Movie is About Me But, They Nominated You For An Oscar? I Hope You Die In The Next One

    7:40:53 A.M. –. Fox News Reporter Rich Edson calls in to discuss last night’s GOP debate.  Edson likens it to an argument that takes place in a bar. We agree although there was no singing, and not a single “I love you man” when it was all over. Edson believes, as most of us do, that Trump is going to dominate Super Tuesday like Godzilla in a Benihana. Connell asks Edson where he’s calling in from. Is he down in Texas covering the event? Um, nope. Old Rich is calling from the living room in his apartment. We can’t get the image of Rich the reporter sitting in his living room in his boxers, scratching himself, while he waits for his Hot Pockets to be ready in the microwave, out of our minds. Thanks a lot Edson. 

    Rich Edson Taken Mere Moments Before He Calls In (Artist’s Rendering)

    Hey Fella, Do You Have A Robe Anywhere In There That You Could Put On?

    8:16:13 A.M. – Warner revisits the trouble Peyton Manning could be in for showing his “naked buttocks and gentiles” to that trainer. Gentiles Warner? We think our favorite sportscaster means genitals although he could be implying that Mr. Manning is not circumcised. We don’t want to know how Warner would have that information.

    Um…Please Be gentle (See What We Did?)

    8:40:53 A.M. – Donald Trump Jr. is on to discuss his father’s debate performance last night. Trump Jr. notes that his father did well, and that he didn’t lose his cool even though Rubio, and Cruz tried to take it to him. We agree with that assessment. Then again what else was he going to say? That his dad did terrible, and everybody knows it. That he was a looooooooser. Of course not. He did, however, give us some news regarding Senior’s athletic ability. Apparently the Donald was a very good baseball player. In fact he was team captain, and good enough to perhaps even go pro. Trump was a first basemen. Naturally he was a first basemen. Trump doesn’t believe in second, or third base. That’s for looooosers.

    I Don’t Care How High That Green Wall Is Boston. I’m Going to Hit A Home Run That’s Going To Be Yuuuuuuge And I’m Going To Make The Mexican Pitcher Pay For It. Believe Me.

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    We have dropped a few Movie references this morn and it is Oscar Time so enjoy these film clips.

    Will Ferrell As Gator The Pimp

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XoQT_nR1tA

    The Painting Scene In Goodfellas

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eVqdnDk02Y 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwdCIpbTN5g