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Deirdre's Corner

Don't forget to catch Deirdre on Psychos, Monday and Thursday at 7:35am and Blonde on Blonde, Wednesdays at 7:35am on Imus in the Morning! 


Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe - As a children's health advocate dedicated to raising awareness of and protecting children from the numerous toxins in this world, I cannot strongly enough recommend the film “Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe.”  Read more...

 Celebrating 15 Years Protecting Children's Health & the Environment

 The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center®  - When you are among the first voices to speak out on an issue, it’s difficult to know if anyone is listening. When I founded The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® at Hackensack University Medical Center fifteen years ago, concern about our children's health being impacted by toxic exposures in the environment was not the hot button, trendy issue it is today.  Read more...

 

Deirdre's Dish Pick

Carrot Cake - Recipe by Deirdre Imus, The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys - Rich in vitamin A, beta-carotene, and phytochemicals, carrots are a nutrition powerhouse that help boost the immune system and fight off infection. Baked in this moist, dense cake, of course, they are also naturally sweet and delicious. Since this cake is dense, a small slice will satisfy, but it will also stay moist and fresh for several days if covered airtight and stored at room temperature.

If you have a fond memory from your childhood about some of the dishes we post please let us know by emailing us at Dimus@hackensackumc.org or contact us here, we would love to hear your story.

 

Deirdre's Book Pick Of The Week

 

Vegan for Her by Virginia Messina - a blueprint for optimal health and wellness at any age, will show you how to: lower your risk for breast cancer and heart disease; manage conditions like arthritis and migraines; diminish PMs and cramps; build strong bones for life; enhance fertility; make an easy transition to a vegan diet; and incorporate principles of both fashion and compassion into your home and wardrobe.


    Support The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center

The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® is devoted to the health and well-being of children, their parents and the general public. Donations to the Environmental Health Center will support research on children's environmental health.

 

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Inside Imus Control Center
The Imus Ranch Foundation

With the closing of The Imus Ranch For Kids with Cancer, The Imus Ranch Foundation was formed to donate 100% of all donations previously devoted to The Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer to various other charities whose work and missions compliment those of the ranch. The initial donation from The Imus Ranch Foundation was awarded to Tackle Kids Cancer, a program of The HackensackUMC Foundation and the New York Giants.  In addition, once the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer is sold, 100% of those funds will be contributed to The Imus Ranch Foundation.

Warner's Sports Corner

Warriors Defeat Thunder - The Golden State Warriors punched their ticket to the NBA Finals Monday night with a 96-88 defeat of the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 7 before a raucous crowd in Oakland, California.
Spieth's Spectacular Finish Earns Him Colonial Title - Jordan Spieth won the Dean & DeLuca Invitational at Colonial Country Club in Ft. Worth, Texas, on Sunday, pulling away for a three-shot win on the back of a nine-putt final nine.
Records Trumped by Raw Emotion in Martin Truex Jr. Coca-Cola 600 Victory - Truex had the greatest day in racing with a record-setting performance, breaking a nearly year-long winless streak by leading 392 of 400 laps to win the Coca-Cola 600.  In the process, Truex set records for the fastest Coca-Cola 600 ever and for the leading the most miles ever in any NASCAR race.
Rookie Wins Historic Indy 500 - The Indianapolis 500 has been known for some unpredictable finishes. The 100th one came up with an incredibly surprising winner as American Alexander Rossi coasted to the checkered flag for his first IndyCar win.

 

Recent Guests:
    Tuesday
    Dec082015

    A Vicious Circle

    6:05:00 A.M. – The I-Man is happy this morning.  George Schultz is torqued off at Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard for Killing Reagan, Donald Trump has lost his mind, and the Cowboys beat the Indians, Dallas -19, Washington Redskins – 16.   We’re happy when the I-Man is happy.  Because if he’s not happy ain’t nobody happy.   Which is kind of palindromic Mobius strip of a situation, because, he’s happiest when nobody is happy. Which is the definition of a ‘Vicious Circle’.

    A VICIOUS CIRCLE

    6:15:30 A.M. – Imus maintains that Ted Cruz is like one of those greasy televangelists like Joel Osteen.   Which is an insult to Joel Osteen. 

    WE DON’T REALLY SEE THE LIKENESS, QUITE FRANKLY

    6:17:54 A.M.  – “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”  Redskins head coach Jay Gruden’s quote regarding Washington’s loss to the Cowboys.  “Listen, Tubbo, your brother is in the booth, you’re on the field, figure it out NOW!”  Broadcast Legend Don Imus’ quote regarding Jay Gruden’s quote.

    CLUELESS: JAY AND JON GRUDEN. (FRANK CALIENDO AS JON GRUDEN)

    6:40:27 A.M. Dr. Richard Haass, The President of the Council on Foreign Relations.  He didn’t think President Obamas speech was all that effective, and that keeping Muslims from coming into America is a bad idea.  Way to go out on a limb, Doc.

    DR. HAASS, REALLY TAKING A CHANCE

    6:05:10 A.M.    The Boss accuses Bernie of being ‘Fraidy Scared’ of Bill O’Reilly.  He wants to know if he could needle O’Reilly about the George Schultz dis of his book.  Bernie answers no, the most he could do would be saying something like:  “That George Schultz is off the hook, isn’t he?”  The boys from Forensics are dusting O’Reilly’s ass for Bernard’s Lip Prints as we speak.

    BERNARD ASSUMING THE POSITION

    7:17:34 A.M. – Imus relates a story about having dinner at a Muslim family’s house, despite the fact that he was suffering from a fever, with terrible chills, and they did not have a blanket for him.  Dinner conversation was pleasant at first, and then they started talking about the Jews.  And not very flatteringly.  This, of course, offended the I-Man, who, as Kinky Friedman crowned him, is a Jew.  By inspiration. 

    “EVERYBODY SAY…BUBBELEH!”

    7:39:16 A.M. HOLLYWOOD & VINE  Riedel says Imogen Lloyd Weber’s Dad’s new Broadway Musical, ‘School of Rock’ is going to be a monster hit.  Imus says “Make me go see it.” 

    WE GUESS HE’D RATHER BE IN IT.

    Deirdre finds Kimye’s naming their new infant son ‘Saint’ to be an uplifting, positive respite from the horrible events of late.  Riedel is disdainful of Celebrities and what they name their children, and says that although he was born on December 24th, he wasn’t named Jesus or Joseph.  We’re just surprised they didn’t call him ‘Mary’.

    THE VIRGIN RIEDEL.  HE LOOKS GOOD IN PORCELAIN

    Gunz has a problem with the Grammy Nominations…and doesn’t know why Coldplay is providing the Half Time Entertainment at this year’s Super Bowl L (50).  He thinks Billy Joel would be a better choice.  Gunz, apparently, is a big Billy Joel fan, as evidenced by his favorite song being… ‘Crackerjack’.  Ummm…Gunz, it’s ‘Captain Jack’. It’s not ‘And Crackerjack will get you high tonight…although it will be pretty damn tasty after you DO get high.

    GUNZ AND BILLY ONE WILD NIGHT AT NASSAU COLISEUM CIR. 1987

    Riedel, however, is THRILLED that Barry Manilow, (A good friend of his, he says) was nominated for a Grammy for his ‘Duets’ Album.

    MICHAEL RIEDEL & HIS PAL BARRY MANILOW ON ‘WHITNEY HOUSTON NIGHT’ AT THE WHITE SWALLOW

    8:05:11 A.M. – The I-Man relates another story from  his legendary past, this one about the time he went on a Roller coaster while High on Cocaine.  How do you think that one went?

    THE BOSS APPEARS UNCHARACTERISTICALLY CALM

    8:40:43 A.M. – Curtis Sliwa is the guest, and we get a very detailed look at his origins, his four marriages, his getting shot up by the mob, and the founding of the Guardian Angels.  We learn that his first wife was black, and that he has 3 kids that he takes full responsibility for, at least the three that he knows about.

    MOREY GIVES CURTIS THE GOOD NEWS

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    35 Years Ago

    We read the news today…oh boy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n73GFvAyIjs 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HONxwhwmgU 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVg2EJvvlF8 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS0wuN_6wyw 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PWk3i9WT-8 

     and…

    AS A TRIBUTE TO THE I-MAN

    AND HIS ROLLERCOASTER EXPERIENCE

    (We don’t suggest you do coke prior to watching these)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZ5T96v3no 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCmV0feuht0

    Monday
    Dec072015

    The 'Hummus Summit'

    6:05:00 A.M. – Imus begins the program with news of Wyatt’s rodeo performances this past weekend, which, obviously, were stellar, because the boy be a roping prodigy.   The I-Family traveled to Edna, Texas so that the Wy-Man could compete in Region 7 in the High School Rodeo, and, we guess because there were no Holiday Inn Expresses there, the I-Man slept in his Bloomer Trailer.  He informs us that “If you have a trailer and it doesn’t say ‘Bloomer’ on it, you’re a loser.”  We would submit that if you’re sleeping in a trailer in the FIRST place…

    NOW THAT’S A TRAILER

    6:15:30 A.M. – Imus reads the NFR results.  As if the Holiday Season wasn’t already raising the suicide rate.

    THAT COWBOY IN THE STRIPED VEST UP THERE IN THE STANDS…FEELS JUST LIKE WE DO

    6:27:33 A.M. – We learn that Curtis Sliwa had a ‘Hummus Summit’ this weekend, to further exploit his feud with Donald Trump.  Because nothing helps to further a grudge like a Middle Eastern Chick Pea dip.

    AVAILABLE IN YOUR GROCER’S REFRIGERATED CASE

    6:40:27 A.M. Bo Monday, and despite his having an angioplasty procedure mere weeks ago, Bo tells us that, if anything happens in New York, he’s going into action.   If that doesn’t strike fear in the hearts of ISIL, or ISIS for that matter, nothing will.  Bo is nothing if not the embodiment of the term ‘Security’.

    6:42:27 A.M.    When asked if he heard President Obama’s speech from the Oval Office last night, Bo says that he would “…rather take an ice pick and drive it through my eyeball than listen to this president.”   Which is almost the exact same thing that the President said about Bo’s Arby’s Commercials.

    BO’S READY FOR OBAMA’S NEXT SPEECH

    7:05:10 A.M. – Warner says we may have a new douche of the week for the upcoming Vinnie from Queens segment:  Andrew Iguodala of the Golden State Warriors, (Interesting that he gets the ‘Iguodala’ part right, but not the ‘Andre’) who, when asked what it would take to beat the Warriors, answered:  “Go to a gun range, learn to shoot and kill us all.”   Too soon, Andrew, too soon.

    ANDRE.  HE MAY BE FAST, BUT HE AIN’T THAT ‘SWIFT’

    7:11:34 A.M. – Donald Trump’s reaction to President Obama’s speech about Terror was one of displeasure, at least that’s the way his Tweets sounded.  “Do we want a president that sits in his apartment tweeting people?”  Imus asks.  The better question would be   “Would we rather he sits in his apartment posting pictures of his junk on Instagram?”

    “EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME…IT’S THIS BIG.  I’M SERIOUS.  IT’S TERIFFIC, IT’S FANTASTIC, AND I NEED A WIDE ANGLE LENS TO TAKE A PICTURE OF IT.”

    7:17:34 A.M.  Imus announces that there is a rodeo app, which, unfortunately, doesn’t take into consideration that the Cable Broadcast Network CBS Sports is in delay…and the APP posts results in real time so you know who won before you see it.  A half an hour early. 

    THE APP CAN ALSO TELL YOU WHERE THE NEAREST 24 HOUR GUN STORE IS SO YOU CAN PUT YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR MISERY WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU’RE ACTUALLY USING A RODEO APP TO WATCH A RODEO ON YOUR PHONE

    7:39:16 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS begins with a discussion of Super Bowl 50s Halftime Show starring…Coldplay?  The 50th anniversary of the biggest game in history, and they hire THESE MUTHAFu##AS?  The panel wonders what names had to be crossed off the list before they got to Chris Martin’s Whiny British Band.  Nick Lachey?  Wilson Phillips?  ‘Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods’?

    WE’RE PRETTY SURE HE WAS FREE

    7:41:46 A.M. – The perennial query: ‘Who’s the Bigger Douche’? offers a choice between Dan Snyder or Jerry Jones.  The Cowboys and Indians play tonight and so the I-Man wants to know who’s worse, The Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, or the Redskins owner Dan Snyder.  Not much of a choice.  Kind of like choosing between two different types of Herpes.

    A CHART TO HELP YOU CHOOSE

    7:44:55 A.M. – But then, the I- Man asks the question that’s on all of our minds this morning:  “Who’s going to win the Tie Down Roping event tonight?”   Who’s gonna win the roping?  SOMEBODY’S gonna win the roping…

    TRUMP CAN DO THE ROPING, HE’S TERIFFIC, HE’S FANTASTIC AND THE COWS LOVE HIM.  HE HAS A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOVINES.

    8:05:11 A.M. – The I-Man comments on Ted Cruz, saying that he’s almost as bad as Greta Van Susteren, in his comments calling for an end to Surveillance Programs.

    GRETA VAN SUSTEREN AND TEDDA VAN SUSTEREN

    8:20:40 A.M. – Warner does it again.  He reports a story on Thomas Rawls, the Seattle Seahawks running back, and plays a clip of…LOU Rawls.  Natch.           

    YOU’LL NEVER FIND…A RUNNING BACK OF THIS KIND…

    8:40:43 A.M. – Presidential Historian Doug Brinkley, Professor of History at Rice University  is on, and Imus asks him about the famous FDR ‘Day of Infamy’ Speech, as today is the 74th Anniversary of the Japanese Bombing at Pearl Harbor.  Dr. Brinkley reveals that FDR wrote it HIMSELF.   Which means Trump is a lot like FDR.  

    “SEPTEMBER 11TH…2001…THE DAY THAT I SAW THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS CHEERING ON JERSEY CITY ROOFTOPS.  WHO WAS DOING THE CHEERING?  SOMEBODY WAS DOING THE CHEERING…EXCUSE ME.  IT WASN’T FANTASTIC, IT WASN’T’ TERRIFIC, BUT IF I WAS PRESIDENT THEN, IT NEVER WOULD’VE HAPPENED BECAUSE I WOULD’VE BUILT A WALL AROUND THE TWIN TOWERS.”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    DECEMBER 7TH 1941

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e99lfmmDN0

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK8gYGg0dkE

    Friday
    Dec042015

    Baby's Got A Lot To Say

    6:05:00 A.M. – Bernard is in the big chair this morning, another Imus-Free Friday, and he’s got a lot of Outrageous Trump Clips…a LOT of Trump clips.  And they’re crazier than ever.  It’s going to be a good morning.

    BABY’S GOT A LOT TO SAY

    6:15:30 A.M. – Bernard, in reference to the workers in the San Bernardino Tragedy, “None of us work with developmentally disabled people.”   Um…B?  We work with Gunz, remember?

    GUNZ.  POSTER BOY FOR IDIOCY.

    6:26:53 A.M.    – Another Trump Clip.  In this one, Donald tells us why he gets no support from Jewish Voters.  “Because I don’t want your money.”   Really?  SERIOUSLY?   This can’t get any crazier, can it?

    YES.  IT CAN.

    6:40:27 A.M.    Connell plays a clip of Crosby, Stills and Nash singing at the White House Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony last night.  Pitch Pipe anyone?  Send up a flare when you get near the melody, fellas.

    STILLS, NASH AND CROSBY.   ‘TEACH YOUR CHILDREN’…HOW TO SING

    7:17:34 A.M. – Bernie quotes Deion Sanders, who, recently, weighed in on Gun Control:   “I don’t think that guns [are] picking up themselves and pulling triggers on [their] own,” Mr. Sanders told The Associated Press.  He then used the word ‘solvency’ to explain how he believes that it’s more about people than is about guns. We know WE always turn to Deion when we’re looking for in-depth analysis on the issues.

    “GUNS DON’T HAVE A CAPACITY TO MEET THEIR LONG-TERM FINANCIAL COMMITMENTS…BECAUSE THEY’RE GUNS.”

    7:17:34 A.M. – It’s Bo Dietl’s BIRTHDAY!   We send Bo our Salutatatations for his turning 65 today!   We wonder how he will celebrate?

    BO, ENJOYING SOME FREE BIRTHDAY ICE CREAM AT THE SENIOR CENTER

    7:39:16 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS, or, as we like to call it, JOCKS AROUND THE CLOCK.  The boys discuss the MMA, and a report that suggests there are more severe injuries in Boxing than there are in Mixed Martial Arts. Surprising in that the MMA is a much more brutal sport.  This is primarily due to the fact that in Boxing, the goal is to knock your opponent unconscious.  Where in MMA, the fighters are just trying to get the other guy to submit.  Which means that a really, really convincing speaker could, conceivably, be an MMA Champion. 

    “SO…YOSHI…WE’RE GOOD, RIGHT?” 

    “YES, MR. ROBBINS.  WHO COULD ARGUE WITH YOUR LOGIC?”

    Then, the topic of Frank Gifford comes up, and the new revelations that he had received brain damage from playing Football.  Bernie wonders if Frank would give up the fame, the fortune and the hot wife if he knew that playing the game would result in Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. The panel doesn’t believe that he would have…because then he wouldn’t have been able to be a ‘Back Door Santa’ to a Flight Attendant.

    FRANK CHECKING OUT THE EVENING’S ENTERTAINMENT

    8:05:11 A.M. – Apparently, Birthday Boy Bo and Curtis met in Penn Station after yesterday’s program, and…each took a boxing stance…ready to square off…when the National Guardsmen stepped in.  Unaware, apparently, that the boys were kidding. 

    A LITTLE EXCITEMENT AT PENN STATION  

    8:20:40 A.M. – The Topic of the Salvation Army is brought up and, apparently, they are going buckwild…replacing their somber ringing of the bell by ‘Getting their Dance on’ which is drawing huge crowds.  Gunz weighs in on the issue in his usual, measured, informed fashion.  “At least they’re doing something…unlike the Homeless People.”  We’re not sure what Gunz expected.  A Talent Show featuring New York City’s Homeless?

    “JUST ME…AND…MY…SHAAAAAADOW.   ALL ALONE AND FEELIN’ BLUE…”

    8:40:43 A.M. – Author and former investigative correspondent in the Washington bureau for CBS News, Sharyl Attkisson is on to promote her new show, ‘Full Measure’ on the Sinclair Broadcast Network.  Where you might be able to see if your cable box capability goes up to 11 digits.

    WE OFFER THIS PHOTO OF A FAMILY ENJOYING SHARYL’S NEW PROGRAM…AS WE DON’T THINK YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SEE IT…

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    WE FEEL WE NEED TO TAKE CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH TO SCHOOL

    TO SHOW THEM HOW A CHRISTMAS SONG SHOULD BE SUNG

    (AND RAY SINGS IT BETTER THAN EVEN NAT KING COLE…)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH93LFbNJIw 

    Thursday
    Dec032015

    The Grammar Police

    6:05:00 A.M. – The morning begins with a discussion of the shooting in California, and, although the I-Man says he doesn’t want to critique the news coverage of the tragedy, he can’t help himself from, deservedly, hammering Greta Van Susteren, who, in his estimation is a “Wretched human being.” When the boy’s right…he’s right. 

    GRETA AND HER CO-ANCHOR, POPEYE SAILORMAN

    6:20:56 A.M. – A little good news brightens the program, with the report that Oscar Pistorius has been convicted of murder, after his manslaughter conviction was overturned. 

    WHERE HE’S GOING… HE WILL PROBABLY BE DOING A LOT OF CRYING…

    BUT FIRST…OSCAR…WIPE YOUR F#*KING NOSE

    6:26:53 A.M. Imus plays yet another dismal Christmas song, one that, quite possibly, could be even MORE depressing than George Jones’ ‘Lonely Christmas Card’.   It’s Lyle Lovett’s ‘Christmas Morning’ where Lyle apparently is harassing a woman at the supermarket.   The I-Man beseeches Lyle to “Leave the girl alone at the Grocery Store.”

    AFTER GEORGE JONES…AND THEN LYLE LOVETT…OL’ SAINT NICK COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE

    6:27:09 A.M. The Boss then relates the story about a phone conversation he had with Lyle about one of his songs:  ‘Who Loves You Better’, as the lyric ‘ Who loves you more than I’ is grammatically incorrect.  Of course, it should be, ‘Who loves you more than ME.’   But there are less people who would have picked up on that, than those who actually did.

    YOUNG LYLE, NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE ENGLISH TEACHER WHO IS SHOWING HOW TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE…

    6:40:27 A.M. I-Fave Arthur Aidala affirms Imus’ assessment of Shep Smith’s coverage of the California Shooting.  Almost more effusive than the I-Man himself.  He also is upset with the firing of Geraldo Rivera.  “To cast aside an iconic figure was disgusting.”  Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE Geraldo.  But…ICON? 

    GERALDO RIVERA AS AN ICON

    7:17:34 A.M.  Bo Dietl phones in to comment on the situation in San Bernadino, and the I-Man reluctantly takes the call, worried that Bo won’t offer any information, just speculation on the events.  He doesn’t disappoint.  Bo insists that we call this an act of Muslim Terrorism, and Imus doesn’t feel comfortable making that conclusion. He IS comfortable making the conclusion that Bo is an idiot.  And lets him know that.

    BO DETAILS HIS CONSPIRACY THEORY

    7:17:34 A.M.  Warner reports that there was a packed house of 20,000 at the Washington Wizards game against the Los Angeles Lakers…Warner maintains that they weren’t there to see the Wizards…they were there to see the retiring Kobe Bryant’s last appearance in Washington.  Imus wants to know how Warner knows that they were there to see Kobe. Warner says that the game was a sellout…which is somewhat out of the norm for the Wizards.

    WHEN KOBE PLAYS…

    WHEN KOBE DOESN’T PLAY

     7:26:52 A.M. – The I-Man says that he usually schedules things that people want him to do,  that he doesn’t want to do… far enough in advance that either he, or the person making the request will die before it happens so he won’t have to go through with it.    

    UNFORTUNATELY…THE I-MAN WILL WIND UP HAVING TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS

    7:39:16 A.M. PSYCHOS!  Bernie talks about ‘The Revenant’, the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie, in which…he gets raped…by a bear.   Um…

    YOGI…GIVING IT TO CAPRIO IN HIS ‘PIC-A-NIC BASKET’

    Alan Colmes points out that there have been more mass shootings in America so far this year, than there were days of the year.  355.  He also mentions that 185 THOUSAND background checks for new gun purchase were initiated on Black Friday.  Looks like Santa will be packing this year.

    YOU BETTER BE GOOD…FOR GOODNESS SAKE

    Deirdre hammers Alan for his transparent positions on issues…he’s always towing the Liberal Party line, which, we believe, just isn’t true, because, once, while he was eating a tuna fish sandwich, mumbled something to the effect of “I don’t care how many f#cking dolphins were killed, this is a GREAT f#cking sandwich.”

    “SORRY, FLIPPER, BUT THIS S#!+ IS…DELICIOUS!”

    Curtis feels violated by Donald Trump, much like Leonardo was by the bear in the new movie.  Who’s doing the raping?  SOMEONE’S doing the raping.  Donald Trump.  He edited a clip of Curtis after the 9/11 attacks to suggest that Angel Sliwa agreed with him about the THOUSANDS of Muslims cheering on the roofs of their Jersey City apartments.  And so, in order to vindicate himself…Curtis has challenged Mike Tyson to a fistfight.   An event that, we predict, will end in another violation.   This IDIOTIC idea makes us wonder if, in addition to Erectile Dysfunction, Hair Loss, High Blood Pressure and Prostate Problems…Curtis got a CONCUSSION.

    SORRY, CURTIS…THAT’S A VIOLATION…

    8:05:11 A.M. – Bo emails the Boss to tell him he didn’t appreciate being disrespected, and calls the I-Man a ‘F#cking A$$#ole’.  Imus believes it should be ‘AN F#cking A$$#ole’.  Connell corrects Imus’ grammar, saying that the word ‘F#cking’ begins with the letter ‘F’, a consonant, which would require the indefinite article ‘A’ rather than the preposition ‘AN’ which would be used in the event of the following word beginning with a vowel.  To wit:  ‘AN Idiot’…  ‘A F#cking A$$#ole’

    PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR CONJUNCTION AND SPREAD ‘EM

    8:10:22 A.M. – Curtis has been held over in the studio after his stellar rant during ‘Psychos’.   He discusses gun control, and the train wreck that is his life. 

    CURTIS MADE THE MOVIE BEFORE AMY SCHUMER

    8:25:50 A.M. – Distracted from the horrors of the events yesterday, Imus forgot to mention that the National Finals Rodeo starts TONIGHT.  Whew!  Glad you remembered, I-Man.  We wouldn’t have set our DVRs without your reminder.  “It’s on CBS Sports Network…I think it’s on channel two…”  “…MILLION.”  Connell completes the thought. 

    CBS SPORTS NETWORK

    (LOWER RIGHT HAND CORNER ON THE CABLE CHANNEL LIST)

    8:40:43 A.M. – Chris Wallace is on, and the I-Man wonders if Mr. Wallace knows anything about San Bernardino that he can’t tell us now.  He won’t tell us.  Which, I guess is what Imus wanted…?  The Boss then asks a very good question:  “How do you know which sources to trust?”   Wallace says in this case, it was that provided by the Law Enforcement there.  Greta Van Susteren, however, was taking information from a guy holding the Magic 8 Ball.

    “I HAVE EXCELLENT SOURCES WHO INFORM ME THAT THE SHOOTERS WERE, INDEED, MUSLIM TERRORISTS.”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    To lighten up your holidays

    (in lieu of depressing Christmas tunes)

    Here are a few

    Xmas ‘fails’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shZafPmUVPg 

    &

    A Clip of Hitler, who, in a very mean prank, is told there is no Santa Claus

    (which, of course, there is)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUTrlKPdBE

    Wednesday
    Dec022015

    Congrats I-Man!

    6:05:00 A.M. – The show begins with the I-man revealing that he received an email from Curtis Sliwa, who compared Lis Wiehl to Helen of Troy. Imus tried to explain to Sliwa that the comparison was more analogous to Alan Colmes and George Clooney. Ouch! We have to admit that we were a little taken back by Curtis’ Helen of Troy comparison too.  Lis is not nearly that old. Helen was the face that launched a thousand ships and started The Trojan War, and Lis practices safe sex with guys who have probably been on a ship and have a Trojan in their wallet, so maybe it is a fair comparison.

    Helen, The Beauty that launched 1000 ships

    And A Trojan Lis would like to practice safe sex with

    6:16:07 A.M. – Imus discusses Bernie’s appearance on Hannity and takes McGuirk to task for seemingly defending the Pilgrims screwing the Indians. Imus asks the question, “who got screwed more than the Indians?” Tony has his thoughts on the matter. “At least they got casinos and their own land. I’m still waiting for my forty acres and a mule.” Tony has no use for a mule but wouldn’t mind those forty acres… in Central Park. Location, location, location.

    Hey Bitches, Get off my lawn!!

    6:43:27 A.M. – Fox News anchor Bret Baier is our guest. He and Imus begin their interview discussing Baier’s customary sign-off “Fair Balanced, and Unafraid”. Baier says that the sign-off is a carryover from his predecessor, Brit Hume, who was responding to the anthrax threats following 9/11. Bair is pretty fair, and balanced, but the way he hesitates after every question The Boss asks him it appears that he might be just a little fraidy scared. The conversation turns to Donald trump. Imus asks how long can Trump get away with making statements that don’t jive with the facts, namely the thousands of Muslims cheering in Jersey City. Brett says some of his facts need to be checked more than they are. What are you saying? C’mon Baier!  There weren’t thousands of cheering Muslims in Jersey City on the TV? The Blacks don’t love him? There’s nobody doing the raping? Surely there’s somebody doing the raping.

    We knew there was somebody

    7:12:24 A.M Apparently Curtis is engaged in a Twitter war with Trump over The Donald using an edited version of a clip from Sliwa’s radio program.  Imus reveals that Curtis has challenged huge Trump supporter Mike Tyson to a duel. That could be pretty cool. We hope it’s at dawn since we’ll be up. What are you using Curtis? Pistols, swords? What? You wanna duel Mike in a boxing ring with gloves? Okay. We suppose your next medical commercial will be for some dentist that does implant surgery.

    We know what you want for Christmas Curtis

    7:19:43 A.M. – Happy Anniversary I-Man. Today marks Imus’ 44th year of broadcasting in New York City. That’s right. For 44 years the Boss has been behind the wheel of the proverbial radio bus taking us all to school. 44 years at the wheel! Still at the top of his game. Okay, so the old fool forgot to turn off the left blinker for the last 6 years, but that’s just the way old people drive. Keep on trucking I-Man.

    Everybody Say Baby

    7:42:53 A.M. Blonde on Blonde, or as we like to call it, Grandma got run over by a rein-Deirdre. The segment begins with an assessment of Amy Schumer’s pic in the Pirelli calendar. Deirdre thinks that Amy looks disgusting, while Lis thinks Amy looks fine. We think Lis is taking the old glass house, stone approach. We find nothing wrong with Ms. Schumer’s photo. What’s wrong with a spare tire in a Pirelli calendar?

    Amy Having Coffee and a roll, or two

    7:44:33 A.M. – The ladies discuss their fears regarding climate change and terrorism. While Deirdre recognizes the dangers posed by global warming, she feels that terrorism is bigger concern. Lis feels that terrorism is a bigger concern today, but global warming will be a major concern in the future. We think Lis is more concerned with terrorism “today” because she’s still on the phone with Imus. After discussing her granny panties and muffin top on the air, we can’t blame her for being terrified. 

    It’s either a muffin top or a really bad yeast infection

    8:05:53 A.M. – Imus is upset that Dr. Bill has taped his weather reports today. Imus points out that WABC is one of the most iconic radio stations of all time and there is no reason to have a taped weather report. It’s unusual that the normally chatty Dr. Bill Evans is pre-recorded this morning. We miss the goofy bastard. Perhaps he couldn’t find parking, or maybe his old lady forgot to untie him. In any event, we just hope that he’s okay.  

    If all else fails there’s always “Storm” McShane

    8:26:53 A.M. – Imus has Lou play a George Jones’ Lonely Christmas Call. It’s a song about some guy whose wife left a year ago without telling him why. The slob longs for a call from her for the benefit of their kids who dearly miss her. The song leaves Imus frustrated as there are no answers as to where this woman went. Sadly the song lyrics provide no answer, but we’re all pretty sure where our listeners went. Most drove into a bridge abutment just to make the noise stop. The more fortunate listeners were found in time by their loved ones to be taken to a hospital to have their stomachs pumped. 

    The L.I.E mere moments before Imus called for

    This

    The Result

    8:44:23 A.M. – NY Post political columnist Fred Dicker (hehe we said Dicker) is on the line. Imus asks Fred for some background on convicted NY Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver. Dicker says that Silver was a very savvy politician. He was not so much liked as he was feared by his political enemies. Dicker says that Silver was admired for his intelligence. We’re not sure if they will admire his intelligence in jail. We think the inmates will be more interested in Silver’s other assets.

    Karma: When the inmates do to you what you have been doing to the New York taxpayer

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    We went into the way back machine to bring you some vintage Imus in the Morning clips in celebration of The I-Man’s 44th Year of making New York mornings special

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytUteqlaR7Q