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Deirdre's Corner

Don't forget to catch Deirdre on Psychos, Monday and Thursday at 7:35am and Blonde on Blonde, Wednesdays at 7:35am on Imus in the Morning! 


Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe - As a children's health advocate dedicated to raising awareness of and protecting children from the numerous toxins in this world, I cannot strongly enough recommend the film “Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe.”  Read more...

 Celebrating 15 Years Protecting Children's Health & the Environment

 The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center®  - When you are among the first voices to speak out on an issue, it’s difficult to know if anyone is listening. When I founded The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® at Hackensack University Medical Center fifteen years ago, concern about our children's health being impacted by toxic exposures in the environment was not the hot button, trendy issue it is today.  Read more...

 

Deirdre's Dish Pick

Carrot Cake - Recipe by Deirdre Imus, The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys - Rich in vitamin A, beta-carotene, and phytochemicals, carrots are a nutrition powerhouse that help boost the immune system and fight off infection. Baked in this moist, dense cake, of course, they are also naturally sweet and delicious. Since this cake is dense, a small slice will satisfy, but it will also stay moist and fresh for several days if covered airtight and stored at room temperature.

If you have a fond memory from your childhood about some of the dishes we post please let us know by emailing us at Dimus@hackensackumc.org or contact us here, we would love to hear your story.

 

Deirdre's Book Pick Of The Week

 

Vegan for Her by Virginia Messina - a blueprint for optimal health and wellness at any age, will show you how to: lower your risk for breast cancer and heart disease; manage conditions like arthritis and migraines; diminish PMs and cramps; build strong bones for life; enhance fertility; make an easy transition to a vegan diet; and incorporate principles of both fashion and compassion into your home and wardrobe.


    Support The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center

The Deirdre Imus Environmental Health Center® is devoted to the health and well-being of children, their parents and the general public. Donations to the Environmental Health Center will support research on children's environmental health.

 

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Inside Imus Control Center
The Imus Ranch Foundation

With the closing of The Imus Ranch For Kids with Cancer, The Imus Ranch Foundation was formed to donate 100% of all donations previously devoted to The Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer to various other charities whose work and missions compliment those of the ranch. The initial donation from The Imus Ranch Foundation was awarded to Tackle Kids Cancer, a program of The HackensackUMC Foundation and the New York Giants.  In addition, once the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer is sold, 100% of those funds will be contributed to The Imus Ranch Foundation.

Warner's Sports Corner

Warriors Defeat Thunder - The Warriors still trail 3-2 in the series, but a 120-111 win against the Thunder on Thursday will extend their incredible season, keeping afloat the idea that they still could come back and overcome Oklahoma City despite trailing by two games.

Penguins beat Lightning, advance to Stanley Cup Final - Penguins blitzed the Tampa Bay Lightning 2-1 to win Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Final and earn their first trip to the Stanley Cup Final since 2009.

Art Briles's stunning ascent ends in sudden disgrace following damning report - Baylor University demoted president Kenneth Starr and fired its popular football coach Art Briles following revelations Thursday that the sports program responded to sexual assault accusations against its players with alarming indifference or outright hostility toward alleged victims.

Martin Truex Jr. wins pole for Charlotte's NASCAR race -  Martin Truex Jr. put himself in good position for another strong showing at the Coca-Cola 600, a race he thought he should have won last year.

Recent Guests:
    Friday
    May272016

    The McShane Rein Of Terror

    6:05:00 A.M. – After the I-Man’s decree yesterday, bestowing Connell with omnipotent power on Fridays…the McShane Reign of Terror begins. 

    COMING SOON…TO A RADIO NEAR YOU

    6:08:16 A.M. – Both Bernie and Gunz are out…we think they’re on strike.  Probably protesting the McShane Tyranny.

    BERNARD, SHOP STEWARD IN THE LOCAL CHAPTER OF B.U.R.P., WALKS THE PICKET LINE WITH THE TABULA RASA

     (We Mean Gunz, not the sign…)

    6:40:27 A.M. We get a replay of a ‘Best Of Imus’ interview with New York Times’ Columnist and Author, Tom Friedman, who says that ISIS wants Trump to be the President.  We wonder what a campaign rally in Syria looks like. 

     

    7:05:10 A.M. – Connell reports that Trump has encouraged Marco Rubio to run…for Senate.  But it’s hard to go running in high heeled boots.

    HE’S GONNA NEED SOME WATER

    7:17:34 A.M. – Warner has trouble pronouncing Yankee Shortstop Di Di Gregorious’ name, stumbling on the ‘Gregorious’ part.  (It would’ve been REALLY bad if he stumbled on the ‘Di Di’ part)

    THE GREGARIOUS MR. GREGORIOUS

    7:19:49 A.M. – Warner then reports that the oft injured, Tony Romo says he can play another four or five years.  He has no problem pronouncing either ‘Tony’ or ‘Romo’. We agree that he should be able to play for at LEAST another four or five years, seeing as how he only plays 2 or 3 games a year anyway…so he’s probably rested.

    THE TONY ROMO ACTION FIGURE COMES COMPLETE WITH CRUTCH AND REMOVABLE ARM CAST, AND IS A CHOKING HAZARD

    7:39:16 A.M. – Direct from Fox News Network, Martha MacCallum is on to discuss the President’s trip to Hiroshima, and she thinks he handled it well… why?  Because he didn’t make a whistle sound and then yell BOOM! ?  She doesn’t think that the trip accomplishes much but she feels that Pearl Harbor should be recognized by the Japanese.  Well…we know one thing for sure:  They can certainly find it on a map.

    TRANSLATION: “DROP THE BOMBS HERE.”

    8:05:11 A.M. – Connell reports on a potential Trump/Sanders debate.  It’s sure to be a ratings winner.

    AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WOULD GO…FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF…

    8:20:40 A.M. – Connell plays a clip of a Trump Press Conference in North Dakota, as he was clinching the nomination.  A reporter brings up the name ‘Elizabeth Warren’, and Trump says “You mean, ‘Pocahontas’?”   When a Native American reporter in the room yells out “That’s offensive”,   Trump apologizes…and then mere moments later, refers to Ms. Warren as ‘Pocahontas’ again.

    ELIZABETH WARREN TAKES EXCEPTION TO TRUMP’S NICKNAME FOR HER, BUT SHE HAS A FEW FOR HIM:  ‘LIAWATHA’, ‘DONALD SQUIRREL PELT’ AND ‘CHIEF TALKING BULL’

    8:20:43 A.M. – After going 0 for 2 on the Didi Gregorious pronunciation, Warner settles on ‘Mr. G’.  He was DEFINITELY at the game, according to Warner.  

    EVEN GIANCARLO STANTON HAS A BETTER BATTING AVERAGE THAN WARNER

    8:41:07 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS  The guys discuss the NBA Playoffs and whether or not Golden State will be able to make it back home for a Game 7.  We’re sure they’ll make it back home…because they have a private jet…but we’re not so sure they’re going to be playing basketball once they get there.  Unless there’s a pickup game in the park, because it looks like OKC is going to the Finals.

    “YEAH, DRAYMOND…I THINK WE CAN TAKE THESE KIDS…IT’S NOT LIKE THEY’RE KEVIN DURANT AND RUSSELL WESTBROOK…”

    Rob Gronkowski adorns the cover of the ‘Madden 17’ videogame, and the panel ponders over whether or not there is a jinx attached to that, as there is with the athletes who make it on the Sports Illustrated Cover.  The guys seem to think there IS a jinx, except for Warner, who has never been the same since the time he stepped on a crack and broke his best friend’s Mother’s back. 

    DAMN YOU, WARNER WOLF!

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    THE RECORD BREAKING VIDEO OF THE ‘CHEWBACCA MOM’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3yRv5Jg5TI 

    CHEWBACCA MOM DRIVES JAMES CORDON AND J.J. ABRAMS TO WORK

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQereoIxioI 

    Thursday
    May262016

    Still Got It Goin' On

    6:05:00 A.M. – After a YEAR, the I-Man has finally gotten a haircut.  We are actually not sure which image is the more disturbing: the one of him with his locks reaching all the way down his back?  Or the fetid mound of his shorn mane? 

     THE BEFORE & AFTER

    6:12:17 A.M. – On seeing Glenn Beck on TV being interviewed by Bill O’Reilly last night, Imus makes an observation in the form of a question:  “Who’d that boy eat?” 

    GET IN MAH BELLY!

    6:17:54 A.M. - Gunz is upset that his theory about Matt Harvey’s slump being attributed to Tobacco Withdrawal Symptoms has been ripped off by Sports Talk Show Hosts like Boomer & Carton and Hahn & Humpty.  The sad part about it, (Actually, the horrifying thing about it) is that Gunz’s IQ may actually be higher than all four of those guys’ combined. 

     

     ADD ALL FOUR TOGETHER AND YOU STILL DON’T BREAK DOUBLE DIGITS

    6:36:45 A.M. - Imus remembers the Late, Great, Levon Helm today, on what would have been the sweet, gentle, beautiful man’s 77th Birthday.  He then wishes Stevie Nicks a Happy Birthday and tells us that “Stevie would’ve been 68 today…” Um.  Boss?  She’s not dead.  But now she wishes you were.

    SHE MAY NOT BE ON THE ‘EDGE OF SEVENTEEN’ ANY MORE, BUT…

    GIRL STILL GOT IT GOIN’ ON

    6:42:54 A.M. - James Bradley, author of the best-selling FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS, is back to talk about President Obama’s trip to Asia.  Mr. Bradley says that we want Japan to re-arm.  Because we will make a lot of money selling them weapons.  

    FROM THE VERY POPULAR WSN ‘WARHEAD SHOPPING NETWORK’

    6:44:16 A.M. - James, who, we suspect, is not an Obama fan, says that the President is a good salesman, (Even better than the guy above) and that part of Barack’s strategy to contain China involves Vietnam.   Apparently, Vietnam hates China.  Which makes them just like Trump.

    “YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM WITH CHINA IS?  TOO MANY CHINESE.  AND...THAT’S NOT A WALL.  MY WALL WILL BE MUCH BETTER.”

    7:05:30 A.M. - Imus is incredulous that Disney made 3 Billion dollars LAST QUARTER!  Mickey be making it rain. 

    G-MICKEY MAKIN’ MAD PIMP JUICE

    7:16:32 A.M. - Warner doesn’t seem too happy in Florida.  He’s so bored, he actually went to visit the replicas of the Nina and the Pinta.   No Santa Maria, (we guess it was closed for renovations) but he did learn something:  In 1492, he would’ve been a GIANT.

    “IF YOU TOOK THE ATLANTIC ROUTE TO INDIA…YOU GOT LOST!”

    7:40:23 A.M. - PSYCHOS, or, as we like to call it… SOMEBODY CALL THE SPCA, THEY’RE BEATING A FERRET.  The segment begins with Alan accusing Donald Trump of using Veterans as a prop, and then attempting to cheat them out of millions that he raised for them, for charity, only donating it to them after he was embarrassed by the press to do so. 

    A VETERAN INTRODUCES HIMSELF TO DONALD AT A TRUMP RALLY

    Curtis takes on young adults who refuse to move out of their parents’ home.  He cites a statistic that says more Mamaluke Millennials live with Mommy and Daddy than live on their own.  He calls for them to “Cut the apron strings…and cut the umbilical cord!” 

    MOMENTS LATER, THE POLICE WERE CALLED TO INVESTIGATE AN ATTEMPTED MURDER

    Deirdre is livid over an atheistic activist group, the ‘Freedom From Religion Foundation’, who sued Christians to prevent them from singing ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ at their East Liverpool Ohio High School graduation.  She’s had it with the attack on Christians.  She’s still holding a grudge against the Romans since 107 A.D.

     

    Bernie takes issue with CNN reporter Brooke Baldwin, who, during a segment comparing Trump’s relationship with women to Bill Clinton’s past indiscretions, shut down the dialogue when the topic of Paula Jones came up.   In Bernie’s opinion, Bubba Butt Kisser Baldwin, along with sycophant Don Lemon, are prime examples of why CNN should be named the ‘Clinton News Network’. 

    THEY’RE BOTH JUST JEALOUS THAT TRUMP NEVER SHOWED THEM HIS PENIS

    8:15:57 A.M. - Imus asks what the reviews were for the new documentary about former New York Congressman and Mayoral Candidate, Anthony Weiner,  that just opened in theaters, and wonders if the gentleman who texted photos of his ‘Weiner’ to women, ever makes a political comeback.  Well Boss, it would depend on his campaign slogan…  

    IF THIS ONE WOULDN’T INSPIRE YOU TO YANK YER LEVER, WHAT WOULD?

    8:25:33 A.M. - I-Man makes another reference to Glenn Beck’s interview on O’Reilly last night, in which, Mr. Beck did appear to be a tad…larger than we remember, (We realize that the camera adds 20 pounds…so, they must’ve had a bunch of cameras on him).  O’Reilly began the interview by asking Beck where he’s been, to which, Glenn answered, “I’ve been trapped in a fudge factory.”  An interesting statement, to be sure, however, Imus says, “I don’t know that I would’ve gone down the fudge highway…” What we can’t figure out is if the ‘Fudge’ comment referred to Beck’s ‘Eating’ it…or ‘Packing’ it.  

    THIS SCREEN CAP SUGGESTS…PROBABLY A LITTLE OF BOTH

    8:40:17 A.M. - Everybody’s most favorite guest, Neil Cavuto is on, and he immediately compares Imus in his days back at the Fox Business Network, to Elvis…in his days back in Vegas.   Well, at least the Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches were Vegan.

    “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…IMUS HAS… STARTED TO LEAVE THE BUILDING…IT’S GONNA TAKE HIM AWHILE…HE’S GOTTA CATCH HIS BREATH”

    8:40:17 A.M. - Near the end of the interview, Imus lapses into another one of his Mental Patient Coughing fits, and, the staff, for a brief moment, thinks that this will be the day...that he dies.  And Cavuto has killed him.  Sadly…um…we mean unfortunately…um…actually, all is well.  But for a second or so there….good times…good times.

    “THE RADIO KING IS DEAD…LONG LIVE THE KING…WAIT!  THE KING IS ALIVE!”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Happy Birthday, Stevie Nicks!

     

    ONSTAGE AFTER A RECENT PERFORMANCE OF ‘SCHOOL OF ROCK’, STEVIE JAMMED WITH THE KIDS IN THE CAST

    http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/see-stevie-nicks-spirited-rhiannon-performance-at-school-of-rock-20160427

    Wednesday
    May252016

    You Can't Make It Up

    6:05:00 A.M. – According to The I-Man, this morning, it’s ‘Egghead Wednesday’, with Gordon Chang, Alan Colmes and Richard Haass.  Thankfully, he’s going to throw Deirdre into that mix to add a little spice.

    THE NEW GAME SHOW WHERE THE VIEWER IS THE ONE WHO FEELS STUPID

    6:08:16 A.M. – The Boss is shocked to learn that the Golden State Warriors lost, because when he checked in on the game last night, he was under the impression that they were ahead.  Oops.  He realizes now that he needs new glasses.

    “WAIT A MINUTE!  TONY IS…BLACK?”

    6:20:40 A.M. – Gunz is still clinging to his ‘Conspiracy Theory’ of Matt Harvey’s recent slump being the result of quitting chewing tobacco.  He suggests that going ‘Cold Turkey’ is tough,  Imus agrees. Even though has he GONE ‘Cold Turkey’ a few times in his life, it’s been a long time since he’s actually HAD ‘Cold Turkey’…the day after Thanksgiving. 

    TOM, IN TRYING TO GIVE UP HIS CHEWING TOBACCO HABIT, TRIES TO GO ‘HIMSELF’

    6:40:27 A.M. Contributing Columnist to the Daily Beast, China Expert, and part-time Broadcasting Partner of John Bachelor, Gordon Chang,  is our guest.  We learn this morning that Gordon is a HUGE Eagles fan.  The band, not the football team that is.  He talks about the G7, which, in case Gunz is reading this…refers to the Seven Industrialized Nations of the World, and not to the fact that you now have BINGO.

    GORDON CHANG, BACK WHEN HE FILLED IN FOR TIMOTHY B. SCHMIT, WHEN TIMOTHY B. SCHMIT WAS IN ‘POCO’

    7:05:10 A.M. – Responding to Gordon’s assertion that Japan would be a useful ally against China, Imus asks the rhetorical question:  “Do we want Japan arming themselves?”  What could possibly go wrong there?  They might want to develop a nuclear program themselves…just for protection against Godzilla.

     

    7:17:34 A.M. – Imus threatens us that he intends to play a John Hiatt song at the break.  It’s not that we don’t like John Hiatt…but he’s what we refer to as a ‘Gateway Drug’ to Lucinda Williams…which is like listening to a dog eat a baby.

    THIS DOG WOULD RATHER BE EATEN BY A BABY THAN LISTEN TO LUCINDA WILLIAMS

    7:39:16 A.M. BLONDE ON WE’RE NOT QUITE SURE  The segment begins with the usual pleasantries, which include Alan baiting Deirdre by referring to her as ‘Mrs. Don Imus’, and she referring to him as a ‘loser’.   The Conversation moves to The Cosby trial…which Deirdre uses as an opening to equivocate the Bills.  Cosby and Clinton, respectively.  Although, to be fair about it, there were no Quaaludes or Jello involved.  But even Steve Kornacki from MSNBC gets confused:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7hM4FgeuO4 

    BUBBA AND COS’ COMPARE NOTES

    The segment closes with a classic ‘What If’ scenario.  “With what historical figure would you like to be stranded on a desert island?”  Alan says Jesus.  Which is, we believe, the beginning of an old joke “Two Jews are stranded on a Desert Island.” 

    ALAN IRRITATED JESUS SO MUCH, THE LORD FINALLY GOT FED UP AND DECIDED TO JUST WALK HOME

    Deirdre says Darwin.  Because he reminds her of her beloved husband.  Not himself, personally, but the dude on the Evolutionary Scale.

    THE I-MAN AND CHARLES DARWIN.  Y’KNOW, WHEN YOU GET TO THINKING ABOUT IT, MAYBE THERE IS A RESEMBLANCE

    8:09:18 A.M. – The I-Man isn’t sure about where he stands on the issue of the Death Penalty.  Funny, he’s the only one on the staff who has that problem. 

    IMUS, STILL NOT QUITE READY TO TAKE A STAND ON THE ISSUE.  HOWEVER, THE GUY WHO’S AT THE SWITCH HAS ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND.

    8:20:40 A.M. – Warner talks about the downfall of Mets’ Pitching Ace, Matt Harvey, who hasn’t been quite the same since he had the ‘Tommy John Surgery’.    For the longest time, Imus was under the impression that the former Yankees and Dodger Pitcher, Tommy John, had gone to medical school and was the one who did the Operation. 

    ‘TOMMY JOHN SURGERY’

    8:40:43 A.M. – Dr. Richard Haass, President on the Council of Foreign Relations, addresses the President’s Sojourn to Japan. Although he says it’s “Not a trip I would’ve recommended”, Mr. Haass acknowledges the deftness of diplomacy needed to pull it off.  He believes that Obama needs to ‘Thread the Needle’.

    FORTUNATELY, THE PRESIDENT’S SEWING SKILLS WILL COME IN HANDY IN HIROSHIMA

    8:44:09 A.M. – Richard goes on to state that “In some cases, Imports are unfair.”  He believes that anyone who thinks Detroit would be producing good cars, without the competition from imports, is kidding themselves.  

    WITHOUT ‘SHU TODOROKI’ AND ‘OKUNI’, THERE SIMPLY WOULD BE NO ‘LIGHTNING’ OR ‘MATER’

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    In what can only be chalked up to the phrase, “You can’t make it up”,

    Bill Cosby, with a stand up bit from his act about…

    wait for it…

    SPANISH FLY.

    We $#!+ you not.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAorIG6MZnc 

    Monday
    May232016

    Hot Dawgeee!

    6:05:00 A.M. – Connell is, once again, in the ‘Big Chair’ as the I-Man is on a slightly extended Rodeo Road Trip.     

    IT’S JUST NOT THE SAME

    6:08:16 A.M. – McShane reports that Hillary’s slipping in the Poll Numbers, as Donald Trump continues to gain…which means things at the Clinton Household are probably not even as happy or calm as they were the day Linda Tripp gave Kenneth Starr the Monica Lewinsky Tapes.

    “I…WILL…BE…PRESIDENT!!!!!”

    6:15:30 A.M. – Warner reports that Golden State Warriors’ Power Forward, Draymond  Green’s groin kick to Oklahoma City Thunder’s Center, Steven Adams is the second such offense in as many games.  Cleveland Cavalier Forward, Dahntay Jones, just got suspended for doing the same thing to Toronto Raptors Center, Bismack Biyondo.  It’s the NBA Junk Punching Tour.  

    AND THE MORAL HERE, BOYS & GIRLS…ALWAYS WEAR A PROTECTIVE CUP

    6:40:27 A.M. Rep. Peter King, Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee is the guest, and he has no problem with Obama’s ending of the Vietnam Arms Embargo.  As far as the President’s historic visit to Hiroshima is concerned, the Congressman warns that it can’t appear as an apology or expression of regret…no matter how loud the Geiger counter on his Apple Watch rings.

    “HEY GUYS?  WHY DON’T WE WALK A LITTER FURTHER AWAY FROM GROUND ZERO?   GEIGER COUNTER?  OH...NO…IT’S MY ‘FIT BIT’.   I’M COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STEPS I TAKE PER DAY.  AND I NEED TO WALK ANOTHER FIVE MILES…SO LET’S GO…”

    7:05:10 A.M. – Connell reports that 94 year old former US Prisoner of War, Daniel Crowley, has been invited to accompany President Barack Obama on his visit to Hiroshima.  Given the War Hero’s advanced age…we can only hope he realizes that…the war is over.  Don’t want to get no fight started here…

    THE U.S. ARMY CORPSMAN (IT’S PRONOUNCED ‘COREMAN’, MR. PRESIDENT) IS JUST TRYING TO HELP

    7:12:33 A.M. – Connell reports that Taliban Leader Mullah Mohammed Akhtar Mansour was killed in a drone strike.  Which means #2 Sirajuddin Haqqani gets a promotion. 

    NOT ONLY HAS HAQANNI STOPPED MAKING CONTRIBUTIONS TO HIS 401k PLAN HE’S NO LONGER BUYING GREEN BANANAS

    7:17:49 A.M. – Warner reports that the Pittsburgh Steelers are using Robotic Tackling Dummies.   Which means Gunz may very well have to get another Part-Time Job.

    SADLY, THE PLIGHT OF TACKLE DUMMY ROBOTS’ STRUGGLES WITH CONCUSSION GOES LARGELY UNREPORTED

    7:39:16 A.M. – Former Military Analyst for the CIA, Tara Maller is on to discuss the dangerous world we live in.  Connell asks her where the “Scariest Place in the World” is located.  She says ‘Syria’, although she cautions that Iraq has gotten worse…and even France, where people are leaving and returning radicalized.  And, as we all know, there’s nothing worse than a Radicalized Mime.

    BEWARE RADICALIZED MIMES.  ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DO THEIR

     ‘TRAPPED IN A BOMB VEST’ ROUTINE

    8:05:11 A.M. – The last time Tara Maller was a guest, Gunz virtually stalked her, causing her to ‘Block’ him on Twitter.  But this morning, he was napping during her interview, made it much more comfortable for Ms. Maller, as she didn’t have to  order another Drone Strike.

    A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION TO TAKE OUT A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

    8:16:32 A.M. – Fox News Chief Congressional Correspondent, (and former White House Correspondent) Mike Emanuel is on, and observes that Hillary is “…fighting on two fronts.”  She’s taking shots from both sides…or as her husband likes to call it, a ‘Political Three-Way’.  

    BILL CLINTON’S IDEA OF A ‘MENAGE A CAMPAIGN’

    8:18:36 A.M. – Mr. Emanuel says that Bernie Sanders as Hillary’s Running Mate is “A Possibility”.    A Clinton/Sanders ticket…a slightly more remote possibility than a Hillary/Karl ticket.

    HILLARY AND HER RUNNING MATE HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE FROM THEIR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS IN THE NERVOUS HOSPITAL

    8:22:36 A.M. – Mike muses that “Maybe she’ll go Latino.”  Which does appear to be a somewhat of a likely scenario, as that’s one ethnic group she hasn’t yet attempted to mimic.

    SHE LIKE TO BE PRESIDENT OF A-MER-I-CA!

    8:26:53A.M. – Warner makes an unprecedented move by cutting short his sports report for the Bernie Briefing, like he’s a Representative Session in the Congress.  

    “THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN FROM NAPLES YIELDS THE FLOOR TO THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN FROM THE BRONX…HOT DAWGEEE!”

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    FINALLY!  THE LAST SHOW OF THE SEASON…

    SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE GETS FUNNY

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRqZhJcae3M 

    Friday
    May202016

    Take It Easy, Sweetheart

    Please accept my apologies for this lame, unfunny blog. My comedy bitches, Tony and Rob mailed it in yet again. Punk ass lazy ass white trash. Yeah, 'white trash' Tony. 

    6:05:00 A.M. – Imus-Free Friday, Connell in the Big Chair.  We’d like to see Warner in it some day.  Just so we can make fun of the fact that his feet wouldn’t touch the floor. 

    WARNER IN THE MORNING?

    6:08:16 A.M.  – Connell reports that the Warm Up Guy at the Trump Rally in New Jersey yesterday, a State Senator, did Trump’s whole act…all the catchphrases… ‘The Wall’… ‘Who’s Gonna Pay For It?’… ‘Crooked Hillary.’  It’s like the Opening Act did all the Headliner’s material.

    HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK…

    6:15:30 A.M.  –  Megyn Kelly is a little ‘stung’ by the criticism of her Prime Time Special the other night.  She Tweets out a curt response to The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah. 

    TAKE IT EASY, SWEETHEART.  YOU JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL,

    OKAY, HONEY? 

    6:40:27 A.M. VINNIE FROM QUEENS.  Gunz puts forth the notion that Matt Harvey’s implosion of late is due to his not being able to chew tobacco at Citi Field.  Known as ‘The Gunzelman Theory’.  Not exactly Quantum Theory.  Because…you know…it’s Gunz.

    UM…GUNZ?  THAT’S NOT EXACTLY  WHAT THEY MEAN BY

    ‘JUST A PINCH BETWEEN YOUR CHEEKS…’

    7:05:10 A.M. – Warner teases his report about the Muirfield Golf Club in Scotland losing the British Open due to their refusing women members.  “Bring me some women!”   Which, just so happens to also be Bubba The Big Dog’s Battle Cry…and favorite Room Service order.

    “LET THE ORGY…BEGIN!”

    (FROM THE MOVIE ‘BRAVEHEART’, WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS ABOUT  WILLIAM WALLACE, THE SCOTTISH KNIGHT WHO LED THE WARS OF SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE.   SEE WHAT WE DID THERE?)

    7:17:34 A.M.  Trump’s wall design is discussed and we postulate as to what it might look like.  Tony suggests that Donald use the Great Wall of China as a design template.  Of course, that leads us to think about Genghis Khan advancing between the Great Wall and the Yellow River…and then, naturally, Donald Trump as the Mongolian Emperor.

    GENGHIS TRUMP

    7:20:33 A.M.  Bernie plays a clip of Trump at the New Jersey Rally/Chris Christie Fundraiser last night, in which, he maintains that he was the first to use the word ‘rigged’ in reference to the media’s spinning Bernie Sanders’ victories into making it seem as though Hillary was winning.  He wants the phrase ‘coined’.  We think he means he wants to copyright it.  Which, as with everything else he owns the rights to, will have his name on it.

    7:39:16 A.M.  Washington Correspondent for Fox Business, Blake Burman, is on to talk about the Hillary Clinton interview with Chris Cuomo, in which, she made the claim that Donald Trump is neither ready nor fit for the office of President.  Mr. Berman says that Mrs. Clinton is going into General Election Mode, despite the fact that she still has a ‘Bernie Sanders Problem.’   Which, obviously, is about delegates, but sounds suspiciously like the name you give the practice of trying to teach an old person how to set their VCR.

    “HOW DO YOU GET IT TO STOP BLINKING 12 O’CLOCK?”

    8:05:11 A.M. – As Gunz further ponders his ‘Matt Harvey Theory’, he feels his inner genius rising and attempts to explain the ‘Theory of Relativity’.  Which, of course, he thinks is when West Virginian Cousins marry. 

    GUNZ’S VERSION OF EINSTEIN’S THEORY OF RELATIVITY

    8:17:40 A.M. – Connell plays yet another clip of yesterday’s Trump Rally/Chris Christie Fundraiser in New Jersey, where Donald reminds the crowd that he is still boycotting Nabisco for sending jobs at their plant to workers in Mexico.  “No more Oreos for me…and no more Oreos for you, Chris…he’s not eating any more Oreos.’  You gotta love it.  Dick jokes, Fat jokes…THIS is how you ‘Make America Great Again’.

    “NO MORE OF THESE FOR YOU, CHRIS…BECAUSE YOU’RE HUUUUUGE.”

    8:40:43 A.M. – Fox News Contributor and founding member of Donald Trump’s ‘Foreign Policy Team’, Dr. Walid Phares is on.  The Good Doctor says that Trump doesn’t have a passion for an ideology, but he reflects a feeling among a majority of Americans, and once he’s in office, he’ll have not only his personal advisors, but input from Government Officials.  

    PRESIDENT TRUMP CALLS IN HIS RAG TAG BUNCH SPECIAL FORCES EXPERTS

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    TO HELP GUNZ:

    THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY.  EXPLAINED.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfeaZK2uMyE