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    Monday
    Oct202014

    Down With the Sickness

    6:05:10 a.m.- The I-Man says that he’s going to discontinue the very entity you are currently reading.   We certainly hope not, but if it is indeed true, we hope you enjoy …what could conceivably be, the very last Behind the Scenes Blog.  Seems like just yesterday when we started this journey.  Although it couldn’t have been yesterday, because that was Sunday, and we don’t write it on Weekends.  But tomorrow it will seem just like yesterday when we fondly remember today’s entry.

    B.T.S.  R.I.P.  (BEHIND THE SCENES – READ IN PEACE)

    6:07:14 a.m. – Imus and Wyatt picked the football games this weekend, and the Boss got one right, and Wyatt did somewhat better, causing the I-Man to pronounce that they should not be allowed to watch football at all.   Which should be Warner’s punishment, as he, pretty consistently, does worse than them.

    EVEN A BEAR KNOWS NOT TO PICK THE JETS

    6:14:36 a.m. – While the I-Man and the Wy-Man were watching the games over the weekend, the D-Woman would come into the room to read aloud from her iPad, an article about Ebola.  Her mania about this disease is beginning to concern the normally skeptical I-Man…as she’s been right about everything vis-à-vis Ebola so far.  And if she’s right now…we’re all gonna die.

    DEIRDRE.  EBOLA BETTER WATCH ITS’ ASS. 

    6:27:54 a.m. – The Bernie Briefing, where a clip is played from John Oliver’s ‘Last Week Tonight’.  It’s from the new ABC series ‘How to Get Away With Murder.’  And it’s the 9 Words that ended last week’s episode:  “Why is your penis on a dead girl’s phone?”   If we had a nickel for every time we’ve been asked that question…

    JUST AFTER SHE RECEIVED THE TEXT…BUT JUST BEFORE SHE CROAKED

    6:40:08 a.m. –  Bo Dietl is here and begins talking about his old pal, ‘Al Tomatoes’ and how he doesn’t sell Fugazy vegetables.  When you think you’re buying ‘Orgasmic Tomatoes’  (Which are so organic they can actually make you swoon) unless you get them from Al, you’re paying 20 dollars more than you should, because they are fake-a-tacious.  Then he says that the Ebola we are experiencing is a mutate-a-tation from the strain that existed 15 years ago.  He gets almost as lathered up as Deirdre, except he doesn’t read aloud.  Probably because he can’t read.  Although he is loud.  “You know where you get Ebola from?” he screams.  “SCREWING ANIMALS!”  Which means that if it was around in the 70’s…the I-Man might’ve caught it.   Not that actually laid  animals…but he was known to spend time with some pigs.

    “IT WAS A NIGHT I’LL NEVER FORGET…AND HE CAST ME ASIDE LIKE AN OLD COWBOY BOOT… HE DOESN’T WRITE, HE DOESN’T CALL…”

    7:05:12 a.m. –  The Boss comments on a local promotion being held by WABC our home station.  It’s a ‘Hang With Geraldo’ event…wherein, you can ‘Grab a Drink and talk to Geraldo about the Mid-Term elections.’   Wow. If that sounds exciting to you…you might want to…get somebody with Ebola to pee on you.  Although it might be a couple laughs to go just to watch a bunch of drunks talk to Geraldo.  “Hey…hey!   I said…Hey!  Any more Nazis break your nose?  Take your shirt off, I wanna see your nipples again!”

    “LOOK!  IT’S ‘THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD!  NAH…IT’S JUST GERALDO

    7:07:14 a.m. – Imus notices that Lori Rothman is back at the Business Desk, and “Girl got her RED dress on!”   She’s uncharacteristically chipper, and when questioned as to the reason behind the unusual cheeriness, she says that she and her husband, ‘Frodo’, went to South Beach for the Weekend.  We would surmise that it’s because she got a little ‘Sumpin Sumpin’ in Miami…but it WAS South Beach after all.  Not that ‘Frodo’ is…well, ‘South Beach Friendly’.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    FRODO AND LORI ROTHMAN VACATIONING IN MIAMI.  A LITTLE OVERDRESSED, PERHAPS, BUT IT DIDN’T KEEP HIM FROM ‘GETTING ALL UP IN HER SHIRE.’

    7:36:10 a.m. –  IT MIGHT BE ELVIS -  Lou Rufino has chosen the songs this week.  First up is Eminem.  It goes in the Power Rotation.  Dagen votes thumbs up merely because “It’s not Van Morrison.”  The Replacements won’t be replacing anybody, even though they influenced bands like Green Day and Weezer, because it reminds Dagen of when she slept on a mattress on her boyfriend’s floor.  Which was…what?  A couple days ago?  Black Keys gets unanimous kudos… a song that, as Tony says, “You’ll like the third time you hear it.”  Okay.  We’ll wait on the next two plays.   Disturbed’s “Down With The Sickness” doesn’t pass, even though the Band AND the song could easily be the Imus in the Morning theme, Nils Lofgren’s ‘Fat Girls Dance’ has an interesting hook, and the image of Big Butted girls shaking their moneymakers is appealing, but the Boss nixes it, despite the fact that Nils influenced bands like Green Day and Weezer.  Joan Osbourne rounds out Lou’s picks, and the I-Man “LOVE THIS RECORD!”  Interestingly enough, Joan was inspired by bands like Green Day and Weezer. We have learned one thing from Lou’s eclectic assemblage of tunes this morning.  He must’ve smoked a bowl of bitchin’ keef while he was picking them.

    IF ‘GOD WAS ONE OF US’ …HE’D BE DOING TIME

    8:11:22 a.m. – The Boss says he has decided talk to Deirdre the way he would speak to the Pope.  Although it’s hard to imagine him calling the Pontiff a ‘Crazy White Woman’  Except…Francis DOES wear a dress.

    “ ‘I’LL START WITH THIS ONE’?  THAT’S A GREAT STORY, MAMA T!  I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL THAT ONE TO MY HUSBAND!” 

    “HEY, LISTEN BLONDIE…DON’T CALL ME MAMA T.”

    8:16:16 a.m. –  I-Man continues his Catholic Riff, saying that “Cardinal Dolan needs to calm down.  He’s like a Game Show Host.”   For what game?  “Holy Family Feud”?  (‘Show me…Transmogrification!’)  “Wheel of Absolution”?  (‘C’mon, Penance!  C’mon, Penance!)   Or the “Vatican Squares”  (‘I’ll take Cardinal Pasquale to block!’)  Bernie chastises Imus for making fun of a man of God.  “He might be Pope some day.”  I-Man is incredulous.  “Snoop Dogg will be Pope before Cardinal Dolan!”  You’ll know he’s been elected when you see the White Smoke.

    “DO THIS SMELL LIKE FRANKINCENSE TO YOU?”

    “DOMINUS  VOBIZZLE…MUTHAF#@KAS!”

    (AND THAT’S ONE HELLUVA ROACH CLIP, PAPA DOGG)

    8:18:36 a.m. –   Former Navy S.E.A.L., and current lethal weapon, Leif Babin , the new Proud Papa, is in the Greenroom with his Proud Papa, Dr. Brian Babin.  The new bundle of joy is Leif’s first child and Dr. Brian’s 11th grandchild.   Not yet 3 months old, and the little tyke can already bench Imus’ weight.

    BRIAN BABIN THE 3RD.  (ARTIST’S RENDERING)  ‘TRACE’ AS HE IS KNOWN, PUMPS A LITTLE IRON.  HE CAN ALREADY WALK.  HE JUST CHOOSES NOT TO  

     

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    ‘DISTURBED’, THE BAND THAT’S ‘DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS’ PROVIDES THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE TELEVISED LINE OF THE CENTURY, AND THE MOST COMPELLING QUESTION OF OUR TIME

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOxoQxlUAv4

    Friday
    Oct172014

    The Ebola Madness

    6:05:10 a.m. –  “Every time I see Bernard on one of those other shows…Hannity, O’Reilly…he’s a GREAT guest.”  Probably because he always brings cake.  “He’s always introduced as the ‘Executive Producer’ of the Imus in the Morning Program, and he produces NOTHING.”   Not quite true.  He does have two kids.

    “ANOTHER SLICE, MR. O’REILLY?...”

    6:18:36 a.m. – Connell reports that one of the nurses who cared for the late Ebola patient in Dallas…is now on a Cruise with her husband.   How long until the passengers on that boat hear… ‘Woman overboard!’

    YOU BETTER HOPE SHE’S JUST SEASICK

    6:23:16 a.m. – The I-Man wonders why Bernard couldn’t get  Nina Pham, the first nurse to test positive for Ebola, as a guest, like Megyn Kelly was able to do. 

    “NINA, IN YOUR OPINION, DO YOU THINK THE PRESIDENT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU CONTRACTING THIS DISEASE?”

    6:38:08 a.m. – Mike Baker is on, and he isn’t worried about Ebola.  Probably because, like every other potential threat to his well being, he would garotte it. 

    “I’LL TEACH YOU TO INFECT THIS COUNTRY, MONKEY MEAT!”

    7:37:26 a.m. –   VINNIE FROM QUEENS  Warner corrects Nat on the real name of the Mets, Dagen says she HATES Baseball, and there is a ‘Special Guest’, Sportswriter, Newspaper Columnist and Young Adult Novelist, the great Mike Lupica joins the panel.   This time, Francesa is not the only one who falls asleep.

    MIKE LUPICA, (BOTTOM LEFT) SITS IN ON THE PANEL.  UFORTUNATELY, NAT NEGLECTED TO GIVE HIM A PHONE BOOK TO SIT ON

    8:06:32 a.m. –  The I-Man promotes Dr. Bill’s new Children’s Book   IT’S RAINING FISH AND SPIDERS.  Apparently, he’s having a book signing in New Jersey tomorrow.  That’s a great book for a kid.  No nightmares coming from listening to that story at bedtime.  Sadistic Bastard.

    IT’S A SEQUEL TO IT’S SNOWING ALLIGATORS AND BOOGEY MEN

    8:38:14 a.m. –  Dr. Michael Osterholm is on to discuss the Ebola Virus.  Meghan Hurlbut suggested him as a guest because she saw him on another show, and thought he knew more than the CDC.  Which isn’t saying much.  Pauly Shore knows more than the CDC.

    “DON’T LET ANYBODY…HARSH YOUR MELLOW BY PEEING ON YOU, DUDE.”

    9:05:44 a.m. –  Imus gets an email from ‘A friend’, who, basically, thinks that Dr. Osterholm is a moron who offered NO information.  We wonder who it could possibly be?   He asks Deirdre to phone in, but she informs him that she cannot, because she is ‘Too Busy’.   TOO BUSY?   The Boss is incredulous.  He rails about her for five minutes.  Which is uncharacteristically brave of him.  Until we find out that she will be at her Environmental Center all day, and so won’t be home when he gets back.

    DEIRDRE ALSO WROTE A CHILDREN’S BOOK.  IT’S ‘GREEN’.

     

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Here’s another  ‘Expert’ who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

    (Although, we have to admit, it does make us feel a little better)

    Shep Smith on the Ebola Madness:

      

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2KBfynW09I 

    Thursday
    Oct162014

    I Don't Know!

    6:05:10 a.m. –  The I-Man is only going to watch News where he can be sure he is getting the real story, accurately, with no bias…and so it will be Fox.  The reason for this is because the news now affects…HIM.  Wow.  Being so egocentric…it’s so unusual for the Boss.  But he has reason to fear contracting Ebola.  Exposure to a victim’s urine is the surest way to get the Virus.  And you know how much coffee he drinks.

     

    THE I-MUG.  RELATIVELY “URINE FREE”

    6:23:16 a.m. – Imus plays a clip of the President, who says: “In the unlikely event someone with Ebola should reach our shores…we have measures in place…”   Unlikely?  Ooops!  Measures in place?  You mean we have a plan?  Other than our health plan?  Good thing we can keep our Doctors (If we like them) so we can be treated for it.  And the upside of that is, when Ebola inevitably kills us, we won’t be responsible for the co-pay.

    “THE CHANCES OF YOU CONTRACTING EBOLA ARE EXTRAORDINARILY LOW”

    6:32:08 a.m. – The Boss gets an email from a friend of his, which says “Your wheezing is more pronounced.”  How can you tell?   You might want to try ‘working’ the mike.”    Which suggests that the I-Man do the entire program with the ‘Cough Button’ engaged

    IT COULD BE WORSE.  HE COULD BE ‘WHINY’

    6:32:35 a.m. – He then tells us that he has a problem with hairs growing out of his nose. Thanks for sharing, Boss.  We think we could’ve gone all day without that particular image stuck in our heads.  He says they grow so long and thick  he  starts looking like a Unicorn.  Teresa, Imus’ hair person says that if he plucks the follicles from his nose, his brain will swell. She’s talking about the ones INSIDE his schnozz…not the ones ON his beak.  The removal of those must shrink the brain…which explains why Deirdre does it for him.  To maintain her advantage.

    WHEN HE GOES SOMEWHERE ‘FORMAL’, HE PUTS IT INTO A BUN

    6:44:35 a.m. – Stuart Varney is the guest, and he begins by telling Imus that he ‘Doesn’t look well.’   Stop the presses.  No, S#it, Sherlock.  He doesn’t look WELL?  The guy in Dallas who died from Ebola looks better than the I-Man. 

     

    AT LEAST HE’S NOT WEARING WHITE SOCKS AND SANDALS

    7:32:10 a.m. –  THE MENSA MEETING.  As you might expect, there are sparks flying between Alan Colmes and the rest of the panel over the Ebola Crisis.  Alan is, shockingly, siding with Shep Smith, both of them taking the position that the media-perpetrated hysteria is detrimental to the nation.  Gunz, naturally, believes that he is in immediate danger, as the first three cases of the disease were reported in Dallas, and he rooted for the Cowboys over the weekend.

    DEZ BRYANT SHOWS OFF THE NEW COWBOYS UNIFORM

    7:41:24 a.m. – Deirdre takes a page from the Marcellus Wallace playbook, and goes Medieval on Alan’s ass, WITHOUT the pair of pliers or blowtorch.  No need to ‘Bring out the Gimp.’  Because once she’s through with Colmes he will BE the Gimp.

    ALAN COLMES.  WE’RE NOT SURE WHICH IS THE ‘BEFORE DEIRDRE’ AND WHICH IS THE ‘AFTER DEIRDRE’ PHOTO

    8:06:32 a.m. –  The I-Man, again, wonders why President Obama, Tom Friedan, and the entire CDC can’t just confess that they ‘Don’t Know’.  He cites that as a problem with most people.  Instead of admitting they don’t have the correct information or answers, they will try to make something up so as not to appear stupid.  Of course, saying ‘I don’t know’ definitely makes you sound stupid.

    “I DON’T KNOW.”

    8:38:14 a.m. –  Monica Crowley is on, possessor of not one, but TWO Phds.   Oops.  We mean ONE Phd.  And two Masters degrees.  And hotter than 100.4 degrees.  Fahrenheit.  Which, if that were her actual temperature, would mean she could be suffering symptoms from Ebola.

    NIXON WITH HIS  INTERN, MONICA.  CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR

    8:46:00 a.m. –  Ms. Crowley happens to be Alan Colmes’ Sister in Law, which makes us think that their Family Thanksgiving Table must be somewhat more contentious than the Tet Offensive.

    “I SAID ‘PASS THE YAMS’, YOU COMMIE BASTARD!”

     

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    A TRIBUTE DIERDRE IMUS GIVING ALAN COLMES

    AN ‘OLD FASHIONED ASS-WHUPPIN’,

    ONE OF HIS LAST PERFORMANCES ON ‘IN LIVING COLOR’

      

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEnefkpRfHE 

    Wednesday
    Oct152014

    Another Case of Ebola

    6:05:10 a.m. –  There’s another case of Ebola in the United States, one more Health Care Worker in Dallas, who is also being treated at the hospital there, and NOT being transferred to one of those centers for disease control in Nebraska.  “You can’t make it up.” Says the I-Man.  Later, during ‘Blonde on Blonde’, it’s ‘gonna get real.’  Real crazy, that is.  Deirdre is going to spontaneously combust at this latest news.

    EBOLA?  THE GIRL GON’ GO BEE-ZOIK!

    6:38:08 a.m. – Carl, “2 Questions” Jeffers comes in, and does what everybody does:  When Imus informs Carl that he has a Kidney Stone, Mr. Jeffers offers: “I had 3”.  No sympathy, only empathy through the filter of his own experience.  That’s all people care about.  Themselves.  And the I-Man is the first to admit it.  Hence, his telling Carl about the Kidney Stone in the first place.

    BEWARE: WHEN THE I-MAN FINALLY PASSES HIS STONE…YOU BETTER GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY

    6:46:18 a.m. – The interview with Carl turns ugly, as it’s clear that Jeffers is a shill for Tom Friedan of the CDC, because, just like him, refuses to answer the question that the I-Man is asking him.  And so the Boss wishes Carl gets  “Fifteen Kidney Stones”.  The I-Curse.  Better start drinking a lot of water, Carl.

    CARL WILL BE PEEING CAPTAIN CRUNCH FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS

    6:54:09 a.m. – During the break, Deirdre informs the I-Man that it’s not the Hospital’s fault that they are unprepared for an outbreak of Ebola.  We didn’t get who she said was at fault, but we’re pretty sure it’s either Obama…or Rob.

    THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS

    7:19:38 a.m. –  Warner has a story about Jerry Jones…and waits for ‘Jerry’ to show up.  It takes a while, and when he finally makes himself known…it sounds like he has a harelip. 

    THE SAD PART IS…WARNER ACTUALLY THINKS IT’S THE REAL JERRY JONES

    7:32:10 a.m. –  BLONDE ON BLONDE , the most popular segment of the week, because it’s literally magic.  Lis and Deirdre appear on the TV Screen, and the minute they speak, the erection they gave you…suddenly disappears.

    “ABRACADABRA!  AND THE BONER…VANISHES INTO THIN AIR!”

    7:38:44 a.m. –  First topic?  Girl Farts are worse than Boy Farts.  Journalistic integrity at its’ finest.   

    THE WOMAN VERSION OF ‘JET PROPULSION’

    7:41:49 a.m. –  One of Imus’ favorite stories of all time, concerns a lady at a Bachelorette Party, where there was a ‘Little Person’ Stripper.  (We suppose her friends wanted to hire ‘Magic Mike’ but wound up getting ‘Midget Mike’, probably because they were a little short on cash)  Turns out, the Bride-To-Be had sex with the Lil’ Fella, then got pregnant and delivered his ‘Midget Baby’.  I-Man asks Deirdre if she would have sex with a midget.  She says if she weren’t married to him…and actually cared for someone…she would.  But in fact, for the past 20 years she HAS slept with a Midget.  She calls it ‘Little Roy’.

    “TINY…YOU ARE THE FATHER!”

    8:16:16 a.m. –  Dagen reports that this Thanksgiving, Macy’s will open two hours earlier than it has in the past.   “So if you want to avoid stabbing that annoying relative in the neck with the carving knife, you know where you need to go.”

      JUST SECONDS BEFORE UNCLE PETE USED THE ELECTRIC CARVING KNIFE ON GRANDPA…AND THEN TURNED IT ON HIMSELF.  TOO BAD MACY’S WASN’T OPEN.

    8:38:14 a.m. –  Reza Aslan , (Author of ‘Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth) is on to talk about how Bill Maher has gone from fair criticism to “Frank Bigotry”.  But Bill is the I-Man’s boy…Little Maher used to come to the studio at WNBC, because his Dad worked with Imus.  The Boss used to help the young lad get laid…which made him the most popular kid in Kindergarten.

    LIL’ BILL MAHER:  WANNA KNOW WHY I’M SMILING?  DURING ‘NAPTIME’, THE I-MAN GOT ME SOME P#SSY!”

    9:05:10 a.m. – Connell, as he has reported all morning, tells us that there is yet ANOTHER case of Ebola in Dallas, and we’re glad Deirdre has already left the studio, as Connell’s wife, Phyllis, has dropped by for a visit on her way to a conference, and we don’t think she brought a helmet.

    PHYLLIS, PRIOR TO ASKING DEIRDRE IF IT’S OKAY TO EAT NON-ORGANIC BEEF

     

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    IN HONOR OF ONE OF THE I-MAN’S FAVORITE STORIES:

     “I SLEPT WITH A MIDGET STRIPPER”

    FROM THE ‘JERRY SPRINGER SHOW’

    (IT WAS TOO LOW RENT EVEN FOR MAURY POVICH)

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dLiBdwGHvs

     

    Tuesday
    Oct142014

    Happy Birthday Rev!

    6:05:10 a.m. – “You know who’s great?  O’Reilly.  As good as me.  Better than me, sometimes.”  The I-Man making a startling declaration about Bill’s attack on the head of the CDC, Tom Freiden.  In O’Reilly’s estimation, he should be fired.  He stopped short of calling for Freiden’s execution, but…you know that’s what he’s thinking:  Freiden should contract Ebola AND Necrotizing Fasciitis, the flesh eating disease.  That way, when he vomits from the Ebola, his face falls off.

    EBOLA / NECROTIZING FASCIITIS PATIENT, TOM FREIDEN

    6:18:36 a.m. – After Dagen’s Business report, the I-Man thanks her, then pauses, causing Bernie to assume the Boss has forgotten her name.  “Dagen”, he offers.  “I know what her name is!” snaps Imus.  The staff then has fun with calling each other the wrong names, as Warner is  introduced as ‘Bob’.  To which, Dagen offers: “Bob is my Safe Word.”   As opposed to the I-Man’s safe word, which is “Mmmmpfffmmfff.”  

    YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A BAD ‘SAFE WORD’

    6:23:16 a.m. – Going to the first break, Imus plays a Lucinda Williams tune, ‘The Way We Do Things In West Memphis’.  He mentions that Wyatt Imus is not a fan of Ms. Williams, OR, Lyle Lovett, it turns out.  At least the kid’s got half decent taste in music.  He’s wrong about Lyle, but SPOT ON with Lucinda.   That girl’s the soundtrack to a barbiturate overdose.

    UNFORTUNATELY, SHE LISTENED TO LUCINDA’S VERSION OF ‘MAMAS DON’T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS’ OFF THE IMUS RANCH RECORD

    6:38:08 a.m. – Historian Doug Brinkley is on, and the I-Man wants to talk to him about Ebola, which, makes a sort of twisted sense, as once you contract Ebola, you ARE history. 

    THE NEW DOUG-BOLA VIRUS  IT WON’T KILL YOU, BUT IT WILL GIVE YOU AWESOME HAIR

    7:13:26 a.m. –  Imus plays a clip from last night’s O’Reilly Factor, where Juan Williams attempted to defend the CDC head Tom Frieden, while Bill wants Dr. Manny Alvarez to take over, because he will be honest with us about what’s really going on with the Ebola Crisis.  He would seem especially perfect for the task, as he’s an OB GYN, and with the Government lying to us about the virus, we’re all basically F#@ked.

     

    7:32:10 a.m. –  HOLLYWOOD & VINE  - Begins with a Show Business Topic:  Ebola.  The I-Man asks the panel on a scale of one to ten, ten being absolute certainty, what they think their chances are of contracting Ebola.  Deirdre, ( Who’s a 10, obviously…just not in Ebola vulnerability…in the words of the I-Man “That’s a good lookin’ woman” )  says she’s a 3.   Being that she’s married to The Boss, we’d have to add at least 5 to that number.  Reidel says he’s not afraid of Ebola, he’s in danger of contracting something potentially more dangerous.  Right.  Like Endometriosis.

    ENDOMETRIOSIS.  REIDEL GOT IT FROM BRUCE JENNER

    7:41:24 a.m. – Deirdre is on fire.  Literally.  We think she might spontaneously combust, such is her reaction to the Government’s lies about Ebola.  Of course, vaccines are part of the conspiracy, and she’s so outraged by the situation, and the potential that it could be a devastating epidemic, makes us actually consider  wearing Haz Mat suits to work.

    A WISE INVESTMENT.  BECAUSE EVEN IF EBOLA DOESN’T BECOME A PROBLEM, YOU CAN ALWAYS USE IT TO COOK METH

    8:06:32 a.m. – Happy Birthday to Reverend Jonathan Mason, founder of Camp New Joy and the Sales Manager of WABC Radio.  This birthday wish sponsored by My Pillow, the Official Pillow of the National Sleep Foundation.

     HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REV. MASON.  “HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S A BROTHER”

    8:10:16 a.m. – Another Shirtless Geraldo selfie, this one from a beach in Puerto Rico, accompanied by a Rivera Tweet:  “Kobani is the real Benghazi, the beseiged fortress where president really can & must save heroic defenders”  Good point, G.  But you could have made it just as easily while wearing a Polo Shirt.  Dagen, however, is happy.  She can see your nipples.

    NICE NIPS.  AND HE’S ACTUALLY A ‘C’ CUP

    8:40:14 a.m. –  Lieutenant Colonel Bill Cowan is on, and agrees that the government is definitely lying to us about Ebola, and has some advice for the  situation in the Middle East.  In his view, we have to take the fight to ISIS “In the most vicious way possible.”  However, it’s somewhat hard to fight something named ‘ISIS’.  To us, it sounds like a designer perfume.

    8:46:00 a.m. – The Boss is still hyped up about Ebola.  He says that Deirdre is absolutely right, and has been since the second the CDC spoke about the virus.  We know how difficult it must be for him.  But then again, he has no choice, when the girl’s right, the girl’s right, and she will devein Big Roy with a Clam Knife should he disagree.

    DEIRDRE NIGHTINGALE:  SHE KNOWS A FEW THINGS ABOUT INFECTIOUS DISEASES.  SHE’S PREVENTED HERSELF FROM CATCHING ANY FROM THE I-MAN

     

    VIDEO OF THE DAY

    Long Before Ebola,

    (Around 1346)

    There was a little something called

     ‘The Black Death’

    AKA The Bubonic Plague

    Not exactly what you’d expect a song parody about, but…

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZy6XilXDZQ