6:05:10 a.m. – Weighing in on Obama’s New Immigration Plan, the I-Man reveals that, ever since he was able to pay people to work for him, he has been asked to pay them off the books. Something that he has NEVER done. Except, of course, the Cocaine Dealers. After that one time when he mistakenly wrote him checks.
6:07:14 a.m. – Happy Birthday to Leslie Slender, our Promotions Director and the Promotions Director for ALL the New York Cumulus Stations, and one of the BEST people we’ve ever worked with. It don’t hurt that The Girl is also a Snappy Dish. If that’s what the Late 30’s looks like…sign us up for that! Um…okay, it might be about 20 years too late for us for that…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE BUG! WE GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING…BUT WE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO WRAP IT. IT’S THE NEW ‘SEXIEST MAN ALIVE’, CHRIS HEMSWORTH…HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HIM ‘BRINGING THOR’S HAMMER’ WITH HIM. WE GUESS THAT’S WHAT THE KIDS ARE CALLING IT THESE DAYS. WHAT HE DOESN’T KNOW, IS THAT HE’S THE ONE WHO’S GETTING THE PRESENT
6:38:08 a.m. – Anthony Mason, a man who is one of the I-Man’s most favorite people to talk to, brings up Jimmy Page, (Who, we understand, played guitar on the track for the James Bond Theme ‘Goldfinger’) …a man for whom Dagen is quite fond…and by ‘quite fond’ we mean, she’s perving on the Led Zeppelin Guitarist…she says “His music could cause her to ‘Make that Noise’.” Which is a relief, at least it’s his music, and not the way he looks…
JIMMY PAGE: GOOD THING HE CAN PLAY GUITAR. IF THIS ANCIENT, DECREPIT, ‘MR. MIYAGI FROM KARATE KID LOOK’ WAS WHAT MADE DAGEN ALL HOT AND BOTHERED…WE’D HAVE TO TAKE HER OUT OF OUR ‘BUBBLE’
6:42:08 a.m. – Mr. Mason also talks about Glen Campbell, and how most people are unaware that he’s one of the session guys from the group known as ‘The Wrecking Crew’, who played on almost the majority of the hit singles of the 60’s. Unfortunately now, Glen suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. Although most people are unaware that he’s one of the session guys from the group known as ‘The Wrecking Crew’, who played on almost the majority of the hit singles of the 60’s.
GLEN CAMPBELL. BY THE TIME HE GETS TO PHOENIX…HE’LL BE REALLY LOST
7:05:26 a.m. – Ashley Webster is not happy about the President’s Immigration Plan, having been an immigrant himself, and went through all the legal channels to come here to America. Which…isn’t really all that impressive…it’s not like he could’ve swam across the Atlantic Ocean like it was the Rio Grande.
ASHLEY SNEAKING INTO THE COUNTRY
7:12:24 a.m. – The I-Man comments on how good Bernie looks this morning. Repeatedly. Which is not disturbing because it appears that the Boss is feeling ‘The Love That Dare Not Speak His Name’…but that he thinks a chicken-necked, bald headed guy is actually handsome. He must also love him some Frank Perdue.
FRANK PERDUE…ON THE RIGHT
7:32:10 a.m. – VINNIE FROM QUEENS A discussion of moving in the Citifield Fences in, so the Mets can hit more Home Runs. It’s not like any other team had a problem hitting home runs with where the fences are now. Still, we think moving them to behind 2nd Base is a little much, although it would save them a lot of money in payroll, not having to pay outfielders, which, now that we get to thinking about it, would be moot, because it still wouldn’t help Curtis Granderson. He’d still go 0 for The Month of July.
“IT’S GETTING BETTER, CURTIS…THAT ONE ALMOST ROLLED OUT OF THE INFIELD. MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST THROW IT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO HIT IT.”
8:03:06 a.m. – There’s nothing better than watching the I-Man eat oatmeal. Except watching Mama June eat Macaroni Salad.
HOPEFULLY, YOU’RE NOT EATING WHILE YOU’RE READING THIS
8:16:16 a.m. – Ashley Webster has become a Comedy Critic, saying that although he thinks the Larry Flynt character Rob does is funny, he, as is Warner, not a fan of the ‘Elephant Man.’ Ashley goes so far as to say, “It’s a one joke premise”. Hey, Ringo…you’ve been with the program 20 minutes, and already you’re critiquing what we do? Worry about what the market does before you weigh in on Comedy Material. We don’t come upstairs and slap the Wall Street Journal out of your hands, do we? Stick to Business and stay out of Show Business, okay, Crumpet Face? Oh, and while we’re at it, we want to wish you a Happy Fourth of July a little early this year. Light a Roman Candle for us, you Limey Loser.
WE LOVE ASHLEY WEBSTER. ALTHOUGH WE FIND HIS JOBS REPORTS A LITTLE ‘ONE NOTE’.
8:36:32 a.m. – Arthur Aidala opens his guest appearance on the program, by saying he’s happy that P.C. Richards is going to remain closed on Thanksgiving. He believes that corporate greed is destroying the fabric of American families…especially in Urban Areas. We expect him to say that…because he’s a defense attorney. He knows that a group of relatives, tightly seated around a table in a very small room, where copious amounts of alcohol are consumed…is good for business.
THANKSGIVING DAY. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ‘AIDALA’S 401 K’
8:46:00 a.m. – Arthur also discusses Bill Cosby, and how he would defend him…(Remember, he defended Lawrence Taylor.) He’d tell Cosby to disappear, and then be the one answering all the questions, taking all the heat. He’d also sit in with ‘Fat Albert and The Cosby Kids, filling in for Bill on the Trash Can Drums.
ARTHUR, FAT ALBERT, AND THE COSBY KIDS PLAYING ONE OF THEIR BIG HITS: “DOES THIS RAG SMELL LIKE CHLOROFORM TO YOU?”
VIDEO OF THE DAY
One of Bill Cosby’s Forays Into The Musical Genre
From His Album ‘Disco Bill’
The Hit Song: “Whatchya Think About Lickin’ My Chicken?”
(If He’d Only Choked It, He Wouldn’t Be In This Mess)
A Photo of Cos’ Taking His Cock Out